Illinois, here comes Saturday Night Slam Masters.
    A sold out crowd at the University of Illinois' Huff Hall comes to its feet.  While we're all looking forward to tonight, one thing has to be stuck in the minds of everybody.  What is the Scorpion going to reveal this Monday Night?  He's told up he'll explain exactly why he has targeted Mike Haggar.  What are his reasons?  For now, we are forced to speculate.
    Tonight is chock-full of action beyond belief.  Two former Cruiserweight Champions face off as "The Teddy Bear of Destruction" Rokuru takes on Lantern.
    Overcompensators Anonymous member Wally B returns to singles action tonight, taking on the ever game BC-2000.
    Andrew Marshall is here, defending his TV Title against the always dangerous Clone.  In the mean time, West Bronco puts his North American Title on the line against the recently deposed toughman champ, The Flying Scotsman.
    The Battle of the Baki Mono continues, as NightClaw II faces off against The Great Thunder himself, Raijin.
    The Tag Team Titles will be up for grabs as the Philadelphia X-Treme Machine, fresh off a win on Massacre, take on our World Champions, Cody Simmons and Ron Grayson of StB.
    The Saturday Night Tradition continues with another Luck of the Draw match.
    And, in what should be an amazing main event encounter, The Siberian Bear Crusher, straight off of being a pawn in Major Force's plan on Monday Night, faces the Armageddon Assassin, the Agent of the Apocalypse, Doomsday!!!

    First, however, some unpleasant news.  As a result of the vicious attack he received on Monday Night Massacre at the vile hands of the Scorpion, Johnny Proton has been injured indefinitely.  As such, he has been forced to vacate his Cruiserweight Title.  We wish Johnny a speedy recovery.
    The SMWA Championship Committee has decided that the top Cruiserweights in the SMWA will receive a chance to call themselves champion at Slam Masters: Showdown, as the belt will be put on the line in a Cruiserweight Battle Royal!  One night, one new champion.  It should be a good one.
    Let's get to tonight's action.

    Oh, how many times have we seen this rivalry?  Rokuru and Lantern, foes from way back who have fought all over the World.  They've just come off a massive four way feud with BC-2000 and the injured Johnny Proton, and now they're locking up once more.

    This match started as most matches between these two do.  Lantern tried to fly around the less mobile Rokuru early on, while Rokuru would hit hard when he could and take the advantage as long as possible.  There was a long string of counterwrestling, which ended when Lantern managed to hit a monkey flip and a Frankensteiner in succession.  He went for another, but Rokuru dropped him with a power bomb.
    Rokuru dominated on the mat for a few minutes, nearly taking the win when he dropped Lantern with a vicious belly-to-belly suplex.  Rokuru turned it into a brawl, and that's when he lost control.  He had his legs taken out from under him on a Yakuza attempt, and Lantern regained control.  Going back to his high-flying offence, Lantern nailed Rokuru with a variety of flying kicks, knocking Rokuru outside.  Lantern jumped out on him with a moonsault.
    The brawl on the outside kept up.  Lantern laid out a chair and went to deliver a Frankensteiner onto the steel.  Rokuru countered with a power bomb, and that was almost all.  Lantern was rolled into the ring, and Rokuru climbed up to the top rope.  Lantern got up and was taken down with a flying Frankensteiner.  Rokuru looked at Teddy and gave the signal.  He picked Lantern up and dropped him on his head with the Roku Driver!  That was the end of that.

Rokuru pinned Lantern with the Roku driver in 0:06:41.
Rating: ** 1/2

    Before Rokuru could even lift his hand in victory, he was attacked from behind by Paul Milo!  Milo clobbered Rokuru with a lariat and then began stomping him on the mat.  He gave Lantern a couple of stomps for good measure, then picked Rokuru up and hit him with a release German suplex!  Milo made his views on goofy Cruiserweights clear this Monday, and he was making it even clearer tonight!
    Milo looked over to the corner.  He saw Teddy!  Oh no!
    Milo walked over to the stuffed bear and, without any warning, RIPPED HIS HEAD OFF!!!  He placed the severed head next to Rokuru and tossed the body into the aisle!  Huff Hall exploded into boos!  How could Milo do that?  That's a man's Teddy bear, for God's sakes!  Oh, the humanity!
    Milo gave Rokuru one last kick and then went to the back.  On his way back, he picked up the body of Teddy and carried it to the back!
    Rokuru slowly came to and saw Teddy's head!  Roku sprang to his feet, realizing what had happened!  He slowly approached Teddy's severed head, bent over and picked it up with both hands.  Looking into the eyes of his friend, Rokuru fell to his knees and began to cry.  He clutched Teddy's head close to his chest, sobbing his fallen comrade's name.

    Backstage was our own Nick Jones, ready for some interviews.

Jones:  Fans, welcome back to Saturday Night Slam Masters.  If we have any updates on the situation with Teddy, we'll give them to you, but as of right now, we can tell you that he has been decapitated and Paul Milo is holding the rest of him hostage.  Never thought I'd have to say something like that.  Tonight, big match for our main event between The Big Red Machine, Zangief, and this man, Agent of the Apocalypse, the Armageddon Assassin, Doomsda....

    Doomsday didn't bother waiting for Jones to finish his intro.  His time was a bit too important for that.

Doomsday:  SHUT UP!  ZANGIEF!  I may be gettin' paid to take down Slamkovich, but I get a special bonus if I TAKE YOU DOWN, TOO!  So, TONIGHT, I'm gettin' paid, and you will feel the wrath of the...  ARMAGEDDON!

    Doomsday shoved the mic back into Jones' chest and then stormed off.  Not one to mix words, that man.

Jones:  Well, that was Doomsday... Let's get to the ring.

    The former Cruiserweight Champion, BC-2000, is going to be taking one half of the hot Overcompensators Anonymous, who aren't quite popular yet, but as Rokuru has proven, anybody can build up a following after time.  It's a standard American flyer taking on one of the top luchadors in the game today.  Should be good.

    BC-2000 schooled Wally B in the early going, hitting him with high-flying moves Wally B probably couldn't even pronounce.  A vicious springboard shoulderblock nearly knocked Wally's head off of his shoulders.  A springboard legdrop and BC went for the cover.  Two count.
    BC carried on for a bit longer, but Wally got the edge when he rolled out of the way of a moonsault.  Wally's a brawler, and that's what he did from that point on.  After beating the crap out of BC for a bit, Wally took him down with a gutwrench suplex for a near fall.  He picked him up again, but BC-2000 began fighting back with a series of spin kicks.  Wally was staggered.  BC hit a spin kick to the stomach, doubling Wally over, and he planted him with a vicious power bomb!  BC quickly picked Wally up again and hit him with a double underhook backbreaker before squashing him with a senton.  Wally was in trouble, as BC wouldn't let up.  Finally, though, Wally regained the edge, countering a springboard rana into a Frankensteiner.
    Wally put his basic arsenal to good use, taking BC down with several basic flying moves.  A flying clothesline almost garnered a near fall, as did a flying cross body press and a flying legdrop.  But BC kept on getting up.  Wally hooked BC up for a back suplex, but BC flipped on out and went for one of his own.  Wally countered with a go behind, but BC countered with one of his own, hitting a German suplex for the near fall.
    The crowd booed as The California Kid came to ringside!  BC set Wally up for a Time Bomb, and he connected hard with the move.  He went for the cover, but Cal jumped onto the apron and distracted the referee!  BC got up and nailed him with a dropkick.  Wally B got up and took a swing at BC, but BC ducked and whipped Wally into the ropes.  Wally stumbled out of the ropes and fell on to the referee as Cal grabbed BC's leg and pulled him outside!  He hit BC with a piledriver and quickly backed off.
    The ref turned around, saw BC down and had no choice.  The ten was registered.

Wally B defeated BC-2000 by countout in 0:13:08.
Rating: ** 1/2

    Wally B jumped outside and, with the Kid at his side, the two began laying the boots to the former Cruiserweight Champion.  BC had just lost to Wally B, and Overcompensators Anonymous were adding insult to the injury.  Or vice versa.
    Suddenly, almost out of nowhere, The California Kid went flying!  Ultimate Spider had run down to ringside and had nailed Cal with a chair!  Wally B saw the Spider and backed off.  Overcompensators Anonymous escaped through the crowd.
    In the meantime, Ultimate Spider was helping BC-2000 to his feet!  What was happening here?  Hopefully, we'll find out soon.

    We go backstage, where Rokuru is still crying over the loss of the rest of Teddy.  He's still clutching the head.   The scene was absolutely heart-wrenching.

    A little bit of history WAY back with these two.  Back during the Andrew Marshall/Ron Grayson feud this time last year, Clone began parading around as Marshall, leading to more than a few confrontations between the two.  You can bet it hasn't been forgotten.
    This will be power vs power, technique vs technique.  Should be a high impact blast.

    Shockingly, Clone started this match going power for power with Marshall, and he didn't do too badly.  People forget how strong Clone is, and Marshall seemed to be one of them.  It wasn't until a botched top rope move that Marshall was able to take control with a flying powerslam.  However, his advantage didn't last long either, as Clone was quick to counter a backdrop attempt with a spinning piledriver for a near fall!
    This match continued to go in hard hitting flurries.  After a series of lariats, Marshall planted Clone with a reverse clothesline and then nailed a series of belly-to-belly suplexes.  Clone took the edge with a big spinning lariat, and then he moved into several painful rest holds, trying to get his energy back.  Marshall muscled Clone up for a running powerslam and the action quickly spilled to the outside.
    Clone dipped into his hardcore bag of tricks and began working over Marshall with a series of weapons.  Marshall was taken back into the ring and worked over some more before Clone dropped him on his head with a vicious Toka slam.  He then gave the signal for MARSHALL'S finishing move!  He lifted him up for the De-Facer... but Marshall slid out of the move and hit an Exploder suplex.  It was pretty much over at that point.  Underhook suplex, hotshot, De-Facer, and Andrew Marshall snags another victory.

Andrew Marshall pinned Clone with the De-Facer in 0:11:48.
Rating: **** 1/4
(Andrew Marshall retained the SMWA Television Title.)

    Andrew Marshall continues to roll along, and his promise to become the longest reigning TV Champion of all-time seems to be holding true... So far.

    At Showdown, NightClaw will be on the opposite side of the Baki Mono, teaming with Oni and Deadline to take on Raijin's compatriots, Amatsu Mikaboshi, Teioh and Zuzanow.  Tonight would be another shot fired in the war,  but it sure won't be the last.

    As per usual with the Baki Mono war, we were treated to an incredible martial arts exchange from these two superstars early on.  It seemed as if NightClaw had the edge in the brawl, but Raijin took control with a series of kicks and a vicious reverse suplex.  The action soon spilled outside, where Raijin went flying at NightClaw with a beautiful tope suicida.  The action returned to the ring, where it once more became a brawl, with NightClaw gaining the edge with a superkick and a senton.  He picked Raijin up, slammed him to the mat and then hit a flying backflip headbutt for a near fall.   Raijin was picked up, and he quickly took NightClaw down with an Exploder suplex.
    As is typical in these Baki Mono battles, the action kept going back and forth.  NightClaw missed a rolling clothesline, Raijin countered with a spin kick, which was countered with a legsweep.  Raijin hit a spinebuster and followed up with a flying senton.  NightClaw hit a DDT and went up top, nailing a spinning leg lariat.
    These two wouldn't let up.  Neither man could gain any sort of advantage, and that held true when the action spilled to the outside.  These two exchanged punches and kicks, not realizing that the referee was counting them out.

NightClaw II and Raijin battled to a double countout in 0:14:05.
Rating: ** 1/4

    Shockingly, there was no interference from the Baki Mono or Deadline after this one.  NightClaw and Raijin brawled into the back, and that was the last we saw of them for that night.  However, just because nothing odd happened tonight doesn't mean that it won't happen sometime soon.

    The newly crowned Tag Team Champions of the World, Grayson & Simmons, are already taking it right to the competition of the SMWA.  The PXM have struggled lately, but they did pull off a big win in a rematch against Overcompensators Anonymous on Massacre.  Tonight, they get one more shot at Tag Team Gold.  They'll have to beat two of the best young stars the SMWA has to offer to get it, though.
    Grayson and Simmons, as per usual, made their way to the ring first.  Grayson took the microphone first.

Grayson:  How's Huff Hall tonight?  I know you're all an educated bunch, and I know you all have an appreciation for the finer things, but I'd just like to remind all of you and the audience at home that you are looking at the future of pro-wrestling!  This ring!  Right here!  Right now.  Crash Burnz and Slash Battle...  You guys are old news, and we are Simply the Best!

Cody:  Ronnie speaks the truth, folks.  Now, we're in Huff Hall tonight?  Well, PXM, tonight, keeping with the theme, we're going to Huff, and puff, and blow this place down right on top of your ugly heads and show you what "extreme" is all about!  You don't like it?  We don't care, because we're Simply the Best, we're assholes and, Ron...

Both:  DAMN PROUD OF IT!!!

    You always feel sorry for a team coming in after StB.  They just don't seem to have the crowd behind them after StB is on the stick.
    The PXM came out next, and they sure didn't waste any time getting to the ring.  A brawl erupted, and our tag title match was on!
    Battle wasted no time dumping Cody to the outside and getting a little hardcore on him.  In the meantime, Burnz was overpowering Grayson in the middle of the ring.  Brawling Grayson to the mat, Burnz picked him up and hit him with a launch slam early on in the match.  This was a fight, and while Grayson's good, he's not as good as Burnz.
    Cody and Battle managed to separate themselves on the outside and get to their corners.  After being worked over by both PXMers, Grayson managed to get to his corner following a double headsmash.  Cody ran in and our Toughman Champ started using those golden fists of his.  Burnz was taken down by an uppercut.  Battle got a few shots in, but Cody fought back with a series of right jabs and beautiful spin kick to the head.  Battle fell to the mat and Cody quickly dropped an elbow on his skull and went for the cover.  Barely a two count.
    Using quick tags and a varied offence, Cody and Ronnie kept Battle away from his partner and slowly wore him down.  A few double dropkicks, quick hold switches and some arm work... Battle was in trouble.  Finally, Burnz had had enough.  He rushed into the ring and nailed Grayson with a lariat.  Battle, with some breathing room, took Cody down with a vicious spinebuster.  The match got a lot more vicious at that point, with the PXM pulling out all their double team spots.
    After working on him in the corner for a bit, Grayson was tossed outside, where Battle went to work.  He set up a table, picked Grayson up and hit a back suplex through a table!  Cody wasn't going to let the advantage last any longer than it had to, though.  Cody ran over to Battle and took him down from behind with a Russian legsweep.   The move slowed Battle, but it didn't stop him from getting up first and bringing Burnz into the match.  Burnz took Grayson down with a slingshot facebuster and went for a cover.  Cody broke it at two.
    Battle and Burnz kept up the punishment.   Grayson was in trouble until he escaped a double launch slam, taking down the PXM with a double dropkick!  The tag was made to Cody, who once again saved a little ass.  He and Grayson cleared house.  Burnz was taken out of the ring with a double dropkick.  Battle leveled Grayson with a lariat and then went to hit Cody.  Cody ducked and started in on the Dead End!  Within seconds, Battle was down and out and StB had this one finished!

Simply the Best (Cody Simmons and Ron Grayson) defeated The Philadelphia X-Treme Machine when Simmons pinned Slash with the Dead End in 0:12:04.
Rating: *** 1/2
(Simply the Best (Cody Simmons and Ron Grayson) retained the SMWA World Tag Team Titles.)

    Cody and Grayson had won the match... and now they were sitting down next to John Lee and Tony B?  What on earth...

Lee:  Well, we're being joined by StB...

Grayson:  Scotsman's fighting next, right?

Cody:  Subtle, Ronnie.

Cody:  Welcome back to another exciting edition of Saturday Night Slam Masters, folks.  I'm the Streetfighting Stud Cody Simmons giving you your play-by-play, while my compatriot, Ronnie Grayson will be doing his colour-within-the-lines commentary.

Grayson:  That's right, Cody.  We've got one great match coming up for you.  North American Title!  West Bronco!  Champion!  The Flying Scotsman!  Chump!

Cody:  A chump with one of the flattest noses in the business.

Lee:  Guess he can thank you for that.

Cody:  That, fans, is the SMWA's Johnny Lee, who starred in several Godzilla movies as "Look, it's Godzilla" man.  We're also joined by Tony B, Wally B's illegitimate mother.

B:  Mother?

Cody:  I didn't say it was legitimate.

******** Cue The Flying Scotsman's Music********

Grayson:  And here he comes folks.  The man who spends most of his time in bars, unconscious on the floor, drinking or fighting, more of the first than the last, ol' Quick Draw McGaw, himself, The Flying Scotsman!  Who's that he's with there, Cody?

Cody:  Didn't we see here working a corner in downtown Chicago last night?  That poor, poor woman.  If only she had bothered to get that education... Oh, wait, it's just Monica.

Grayson:  You know, I bet she has seen a corner or two in her life.  And just because she doesn't have an education doesn't mean she's stupid.

Cody:  Did you ever go to college, Ron?

Grayson:  That has nothing to do with anything.  Oh!  Look at that, the Scotsman's coming this way... He's having words with us, now.  Cody, I can't tell what he's saying.  Do you speak Scottish?

Cody:  I'm pretty fluent, actually.  No, Graeme, we haven't seen your haggis.  What's that?  Stay away from your woman?

Grayson:  You mean that sheep he had in the back?

Cody:  No,  the other one.

Grayson:  The inflatable one?

Cody:  Isn't that Monica?

Grayson:  Well... She is an air head, so I'll give you that one.

Lee:  Maybe you should get into the ring now, Scotsman.

Cody:  Words of wisdom from the voice of the SMWA, Johnny Lee.  You've been pretty quiet so far, Johnny.

Lee:  Well, it's been SO easy to get a word in edgewise lately...

B:  Hell, I say we leave it to Grayson and Cody, John.  I'm going to try and flag down an ice cream vendor.

Cody:  See if you can't get one for me, pudgy.

******** Cue West Bronco's Music *******

Cody:  Here comes the opponent, the SMWA NORTH AMERICAN CHAMPEEEOOONNNN OF THE WOOOOOORRRRLLLLLD!!!

Grayson:  How can you be the North American Champion of the World?

Cody:  You're killing my intro heat, Ron.

Grayson:  All apologies.  Look at that.  West Bronco's walking right past us.  Well, that's not polite.  Especially after the Scotsman took the time to come and talk to us.

Cody:  Just as well, Ron, because I don't speak Arizona.

Grayson:  And I bet he doesn't speak New York, either.

Cody:  Funny thing, though, that's where he gets his salsa from... AND THE SCOTSMAN NAILS BRONCO WITH A CHEAP ELBOW!  OH, THE HUMANITY!!!

Grayson:  That almost took his head off...

Cody:  Oh, Ron... Bad form!  For God's sake, a Teddy Bear died in that ring tonight!

Grayson:  Don't lose your head, bud.

Cody:  ....  That was actually clever.  How did you come up with that?

Grayson:  Practice.  YIKES!

Cody:  Big lariat by Bronco knocks the Scotsman to the outside...  And Monica's over to console him.  She'll be on her knees any second now, folks.

Grayson:  You know, as a manager, Monica really isn't that good.  In fact, she sucks.

Cody:  ....  I'm leaving that one alone.  Damn, Ron, the clever bug just bit you on the ass tonight, didn't it?

Lee:  Fans, just so you know, me and Tony B are still here...  Would you sit down, Tony?

Grayson:  No, you can't sit down in a situation like this, John!  You let up for one second, and that ice cream man gets right by ya!

Cody:  And that would be absolutely tragic, because Tony needs his calories.  The Scotsman is back in the ring.  Collar and elbow tie up...  Bronco into the corner...  COME ON, REF, BREAK THAT HOLD!!!  12345!  DQ!  DAMMIT, DQ!!!  THIS MAN SHOULDN'T BE ALLOWED TO WRESTLE IF HE CAN'T OBEY THE DAMN RULES!!!  There's the break... HEY, I COUNTED TO 22, REF!!!  HOW ABOUT A DISQUALIFICATION!!!

Grayson:  22?  I only got to ten.

Cody:  Take your shoes off next time.

Grayson:  Speaking of shoes, Cody, look at the size of the feet on the Scotsman.  I mean, those are some really tiny feet!  Those feet are shorter than a Smurf after a nap in a paper cutter.

Cody:  That's the Smurfs you're talking about, Ron!

Grayson:  Bronco's doing a good job of Smurfing the Scotsman!

Cody:  A Smurfy right hand!  And another one!  He's Smurfing him but good!  Bronco with a short lariat AND SCOTSMAN WITH A DVD!!!  OH, SMURF!!!

Grayson:  And speaking of Smurfs, Monica...

Cody:  Well, she does make me think of the word "Blue".

Grayson:  Remember how Smurfette was the ONLY girl Smurf in that village... and how there were ALWAYS baby Smurfs running around... but they had NO mommy Smurfs?  I think that Smurfette was Smurfing around.

Cody:  I can see why you're comparing here to Monica.  She was a very bad Smurf.

Grayson:  Wait a second...  I don't get it.

Cody:  I mean she's a bad Smurf as in she's a bad "Smurf".  Like she's been Smurfed more times than a screen door?  She'll Smurf anything that moves.

Lee:  You know, there are little kids at home that are wondering what you're talking about, guys.  I mean, these are the Smurfs, for God's sakes!

B:  I know I'll never think of the show the same way... ICE CREAM!!!

Cody:  Tony B gets aggressive!

Lee:  Do you think you guys can call the match?

Cody:  I didn't think we were supposed to call the match.  I mean, don't you announcers just hype the Monday Night show while you're out here?

Grayson:  That's what I thought.

Lee:  Well that's the wrong damn show and the wrong damn league...

Cody:  Was last Monday the greatest night in the history of our sport, or is that this Monday?

Grayson:  I think it was two Monday's before that.

Lee:  The Scotsman with a vicious belly to belly suplex...

B:  Hey!  Get over here!  Yeah, you!

Lee:  Oh, Lord, I give up...

Grayson:  And StB takes the win by submission!

Cody:  And the Flying Scotsman hooks on that Scottish...  Scottish Break-Her, I believe it's called?  We could be seeing a new North American Champion in seconds, but that West Bronco is Texas tough....  I mean Arizona tough....  Dammit, why couldn't he be from Texas like those other Cowboys?  AND LOOK AT THIS!!!!  THIS ICE CREAM MAN IS HERE!!!  TONY B IS ASKING...  HE'S ASKING FOR AN ICE CREAM SANDWICH!  AND ICE CREAM SANDWICH!!!!

Grayson:  NO, TONY!!!  THE PAPER'S GOING TO STICK TO THE ICE CREAM!!!  THE PAPER'S GOING TO STICK!!!

Cody:  TONY DOESN'T CARE!!!  HE WANTS HIS ICE CREAM.  Dammit, I can't blame him.  I'd LOVE some ice cream, Tony....  He's not picking up on the hint.  Hey, has anybody won this match yet?

Grayson:  They're both standing up...  I don't think so.

Cody:  Oh.  Well, that claw looks like it's covering the throat... DAMMIT, REF, DO I NEED TO DRAW YOU A MAP!!!  AND LOOK AT THIS!  TONY HAS JUST PULLED OUT HIS CHANGE!!!  DOES HE HAVE ENOUGH!!!  CAN THIS GUTSY KID FROM...  Ron, where's Tony from?

Grayson:  ....  Announcerland?

Cody:  Announcerland?  Ron...  TONY'S ARGUING WITH THE ICE CREAM MAN!  THE ICE CREAM IS THREE FIFTY!!!  TONY HAS THREE ONLY!!!  HE'S IN TOUGH HERE!!!

Grayson:  You'll never be able to barter fifty cents with an ice cream guy, Tony!  Give up!  Give up!!!

Cody:  He's hanging tough!  He's negotiating, but the ice cream guy is fighting back!  He hands back the change!  Right in the heart!  For God's sake, Ice Cream Man!  That's a human being you're doing that to!  Have you no soul???

Grayson:  I told you, Cody!  No way he can do it!  No way!

Cody:  You have to figure that will affect Tony's shot at the Nacho man...  Bronco with a vertical suplex...  That is not the kind of food loss he needs at this point in his career.

Grayson:  Wait a second!  Hey, get John Lee out of there!!!

Cody:  John Lee is lending Tony fifty cents!  For God's sake, where's the referee.

Grayson:  Actually, he just counted Scotsman for two after a neckbreaker!

Cody:  How can you talk about that with action like this going on?  The ice cream man is handing it over!  TONY'S GOT HIS ICE CREAM SANDWICH!!!  TONY HAS THE ICE CREAM SANDWICH!!!  IT'S THE BEGINNING OF A NEW CHAPTER IN THE SMWA!!!  ALL OF A SUDDEN, THE NACHO MAN DOESN'T LOOK UNSTOPPABLE!!!  THIS IS THE GREATEST NIGHT IN THE HISTORY OF OUR SPORT!!!  Wait a...  Oh no!  Dammit, no!!!

Grayson:  Ha!  What did I tell you, Cody?

Cody:  THE PAPER IS STUCK!!!  THE PAPER IS STUCK!!!  This is going to require surgeon like precision to remove!  Nice lariat by Bronco, by the way...

Grayson:  I've had some paper stuck to my ice cream, and let me tell you, it's not something ANYBODY should deal with.  But it looks like Tony has to, and it could spell the end.  Oh, look what's happening in the ring!

Cody:  TOMBSTONE!!!  TOMBSTONE!!!  RIGHT IN THE HEART!!!

Grayson:  Actually, that was on his head, Cody.

Cody:  RIGHT IN HIS BLACK HEART!!!

Grayson:  Okay...

Cody:  Cover... NO!  MONICA'S ON THE APRON!!!  THE REFEREE IS DISTRACTED!  THIS ISN'T RIGHT!!!

Grayson:  I'll say...  Like Monica has any business wearing white...

Cody:  You thirsty, Ron?

Grayson:  What?  Wait a second, where's Cody going?  Cody's leaving our announce position... he has a pitcher of water from our announce table... What in the....

Lee:  Oh my!

B:  Hello!

Lee:  That's a pitcher of cold water!  Dumped all over Monica and her white dress!!!  Oh my!  It's...  It's...

Grayson:  It's a little cold in here, John.

B:  Wow!  That's, um...  Can we show those?

Lee:  And Monica runs to the back...

B:  Get the camera on her!  FOLLOW HER!!!

Cody:  Good to get this back on my head...

Lee:  That was a horrible thing to do, Simmons.

B:  Thank you so much, Cody.

Cody:  Excuse me, but I'm trying to call the match...  Flying Lariat... 1... 2... 3!!!  Well, my work here is done.

Grayson:  Oh, mine too.  Later, guys.  And to all you fans out there, this is Ron Grayson signing off for Cody Simmons, returning you to these two guys.   Enjoy the ice cream, Tony.

West Bronco pinned The Flying Scotsman after a flying lariat in 0:08:40.
Rating: *** 1/2
(West Bronco retained the SMWA North American Title.)

    Well, that was certainly an experience, wasn't it?
    Saturday Night Tradition up next...

    We've had a string of good ones lately.  With any luck, that continues tonight.
    Our hopes for luck ended when the first name was announced.  The Spanish Flash himself, Enrico Ferdinand, made his way to the ring.  Let's just say that Enrico Ferdinand doesn't exactly generate excitement where ever he goes, to say the least.  Hope his opponent is a good one.
    Skarzz!  Oh, lord have mercy.  Our World Champion, being led to the ring by Saul Masters, was going to take on one of the perennial jobbers of the SMWA.  If this goes anywhere over two minutes, we'll have to bring Cody and Ron back out to keep things interesting.  Bring back the Ice Cream Boy!

    Nothing worth noting in this one.  Ferdinand came out quick with a series of flying moves, none of which did anything.  Skarzz hit with a lariat.  Then a big boot.  Then a spinning power bomb.  Then a choke slam.  Then a Skarring.  Really, he had Ferdinand at "Hello."

SMWA Luck of the Draw Match
Skarzz pinned Enrico Ferdinand after the Skarring in 0:01:19.
Rating: -* 1/4

    Skarzz once again proved how awesome he is.  That's pretty much all that needs to be said about that particular match.

    This one is going to be big.  And, yes, I do mean BIG!
    Doomsday weighs in at four hundred rock solid pounds.  Zangief is over seven feet tall and one of the most powerful men in the World today.  Both have their link in this match.  Doomsday has been paid to take out Biff Slamkovich, Zangief's tag team partner.  The money has been supplied by the All-Americans, sworn enemies of Zangief and Biff's Eastern Powers.  They've met before, with Doomsday getting a count-out win.  They'll meet again in a six man tag match at Showdown.  Tonight, its another shot one on one.

    Doomsday came out first... alone.  Surprisingly, neither Chad Hillsman nor Gunloc came to the ring with him.  They're here tonight, though.  Perhaps Doomsday would like to work this one alone.  Huff Hall wasn't too appreciative of the Big Green Monster, booing him his entire way to the ring.
    Zangief was up next.  The crowd gave the Big Russian a huge ovation as he came to the ring.  We haven't seen Zangief in much singles action since his return, and you can be sure the crowd was appreciative of this match being signed.  Two titans of the squared circle, monsters of the mat, beasts of battle...  I can't think of any more.
    Zangief got in to the ring and immediately squared up with Doomsday.  The staredown lasted all of two seconds before the brawl began!

    The fight these two engaged in was truly epic!  For two big men, it was incredibly fast paced and remarkably even.  Doomsday is used to overpowering small opponents, but even he would have trouble overpowering a man like Zangief.  For the first three minutes of this match, these two exchanged monstrous shots, neither man going down.  Lariats did nothing.  Neither did shoulderblocks.  Kicks, punches, elbows... nothing.  Finally, a flying lariat by Zangief put Doomsday down with a big thud.
    Zangief did what few men have been able to do.  He dominated Doomsday in the opening moments of this match.  A reverse neckbreaker.  A spinning piledriver.  A flying clothesline from the top.  Zangief was hitting fast and hitting hard, and Doomsday was having trouble mounting a defence.  However, one thing we know about Doomsday is he is one damn tough SOB, and he showed that to Zangief.  He managed to brawl his way back to an advantage, nearly flipping the seven footer over with a big lariat!  It was now Doomsday's turn to pour it on.
    Doomsday turned to a few of his stronger moves.  A running powerslam nearly got him the duke.  He managed to hold Zangief up in a vertical suplex for an astonishing thirty seconds before dropping the Big Russian to the mat, getting another near fall.  Doomsday was being just as dominant as usual.  Still, it didn't last.  Zangief ducked a big lariat and nearly took Doomsday's head off (sorry, Rokuru) with a leg lariat!
    This match was a dead even heat throughout.  Each man would enjoy and advantage that would last about three or four moves before the other would do something to turn it around.  There were a few rest holds here and there, but they never lasted long, as the other man was always strong enough to fight his way out before any real damage could be done.  Finally, Zangief seemed to be gaining an edge.  He floored Doomsday with a big DDT, then took him down with a spinning lariat and gave the signal.  Time for the Siberian Bear Crusher!!!
    Zangief got Doomsday into power bomb position, but Doomsday wasn't ready to get creamed just yet.  He backdropped out and regained the advantage.  Zangief was soon flattened by a Samoan drop.  Doomsday put him up top and nailed the Death from Above for a two count.  Zangief was picked up and spun around in a spinning power bomb!  But his leg hit the referee in the face, and our official went down!  Doomsday dropped Zangief on the mat hard, and the All-Americans, as if they had been waiting for there shot, ran to ringside.  The slid in to the ring and began stomping down on Zangief as Doomsday waited.
    In what appeared to be mere seconds, Biff Slamkovich and King Rasta were darting towards the ring.  Rasta clocked Doomsday with a lariat to the back of the head and then dumped Hillsman outside with another vicious lariat!  Biff took Gunloc out with a series of kicks.  He climbed up top as Rasta hit Doomsday with a release German suplex!  Biff came off the top with a Hammer Splash!  Doomsday was hurting!  Zangief was up!
    Biff and Rasta went outside as Zangief regained his feet.  He was going for the Bear Crusher once more!
    While Biff and Gunloc were engaged in a fairly even battle, Hillsman managed to outsmart Rasta, taking him headfirst into the guardrail before Rasta could even throw a punch.  In the ring, Zangief was hooking Doomsday up for the Bear Crusher.  Hillsman grabbed Zangief's leg!  The Big Russian turned around and grabbed Hillsman by the ears, trying to drag him in the ring!  That gave Doomsday his break.  He clubbed Zangief in the back of the head with an elbow, turned him around and hit the Armageddon!  The Green Monster grabbed the referee and dragged him over.  The ref, not aware of anything else that had happened, counted to three.

Doomsday pinned Zangief with the Armageddon in 0:18:57.
Rating: *****

    Doomsday was the victor, with quite a bit of help.
    Rasta came up from behind Hillsman and clocked him with a lariat!  Rasta then rolled into the ring and jumped on to Doomsday, peppering him with shots to the head.  Biff and Gunloc were still engaged in a vicious brawl on the outside.
    Our program ended with these two factions kicking the crap out of each other.