Backstage, Rick Clark is fuming. A piece of paper in his hand, he is looking for just one man.
Clark: MASTERS!!!
Clark continued to storm around the back until he came upon the Major Force dressing room. He knocked... no so politely.
Clark: I know you're in there, you sick bastard!!! COME OUT NOW!!!
Clark continued to pound on the door until it finally was opened... by Skarzz. Clark took a few steps back before Saul showed himself.
Masters: Hello, Rick. Ah, I see you got my message.
Clark: MESSAGE!!! You lying son-of-a-bitch!!! I thought we had a deal!?
Masters: We do have a deal. But you didn't keep your end up on Monday, did you? With Terry Sky?
Clark: Ghost won the damn match!
Masters: It's the principle of it.
Clark: So, what? Our deal's off now?
Masters: No. I just think somebody must be reminded of what the deal was. Of course, we could just call it off... if you want to give that money back.
Clark: What, you gonna make us?
Masters: You know I can, Clark. We have our ways.
Clark: ...
Clark had nothing to say to Masters. Finally, he spoke up.
Clark: Fine. You get your match tonight. After that, we deal with Sky OUR way and you stay the Hell out of our faces!
Masters: Your way, if you want. But I have an idea myself, if you'd like to hear it?
Clark: No, I think I've heard all I need from you. I'll see your boys tonight.
Tonight, our Main Event!
Simply the Best, featuring "Tricky" Rick Clark, "The Rebel" Jerry Kent
and "The StreetFighting Stud" Cody Simmons defend their War Titles against
Ghost, Skarzz and Kodiak Marmoset... MAJOR FORCE!!!
We've also got two matches
in the SMWA World Tag Team Title Tournament, as Dark Storm face Fuerza
Dragon and The All-Americans take on the Philadelphia X-Treme Machine!
New TV Champ Grant Redstone
defends his Title against the California Kid.
West Bronco takes on the
Teddy Bear of Destruction, Rokuru.
The Dark Brand will be
in action against fellow englishman, Martin Riley.
The Saturday Night Tradition
continues with a Luck of the Draw Match.
And there's that big main
event.
Johnny Lee and Tony B are
on the mics at ringside, Nick Jones is backstage to do interviews and we
are ready for our first match...
Spoon Man
vs
Teknos
The last time Spoon Man stepped into a SMWA ring, he was defeated in under a minute by the then unstoppable Cruiserweight Champion, Kodiak Marmoset. Spoon took a little too much time playing around and caught that big superkick right in the jaw. After lurking in obscurity, hoping people have forgotten, he's back to give the SMWA another go against Cruiserweight mainstay Teknos.
After some good mat wrestling to start the match
off, Spoon took advantage with a back suplex... and then he proceeded to
whip out his spoons and start playing! It was at this point in his
last match that Kodiak nailed him with a superkick. Teknos wasn't
so sudden, but he did turn Spoon Man around and connect with several rapid
boots to the stomach. Teknos followed up with a double underhook
backbreaker, at which point Spoon Man grabbed his spoons and rolled to
the outside. Teknos followed him out with a beautiful Asai springboard
tornado dive.
Teknos picked Spoon Man up and tried to put him
in the ring. Spoon blocked and took Teknos to the ringpost, giving
him the advantage again. Inside, Spooner (that's an awful nickname,
isn't it?) continued his attack with several rabbit punches and a bodyslam
before going up top and hitting a flying spinning leg lariat.
Teknos was in big trouble. He was able
to mount brief spots of offence, but shockingly, Spoon Man was in complete
control! Teknos seemed to have the advantage after a spinning DDT,
but when he went up top for a moonsault, Spoon Man fell onto the ropes
and Teknos fell onto the top turnbuckle. Spoon Man went up, nailed
him with a belly-to-back superplex and climbed the other turnbuckle.
It was a moonsault... THE SPOONSAULT!!!
And, shockingly, that was that.
Spoon Man pinned Teknos with the Spoonsault
in 0:07:35.
Rating: ***
A big upset win for Spoon Man in his return to
the SMWA! He was a darn happy man, playing his spoons all the way
back to the dressing room.
In fact, Nick Jones was back in the dressing
room... but it had nothing to do with Spoon Man.
Jones: Welcome to another exciting edition of Saturday Night Slam Masters, fans. Gotta tell ya, that Spoon Man sure looked impressive. Anyhow, I'd like to bring in my first guest. He is the new SMWA Television Champion, "Big Oz" himself, Grant Redstone. Grant, how are you doing this evening?
Redstone: Doin' alright.
Jones: Well, you've been the SMWA Television Champion for all of five days, now, and already the challengers are lining up, starting with the California Kid tonight. How does it feel to be a hunted man?
Redstone: Well, look at who's huntin' me. The California Kid? I can't believe they're lettin' some stupid surfer get a shot at this belt, but if he wants it, fine. He's got five minutes before I put him away.
Jones: You're pretty confident, aren't you?
Redstone: I was born confident. Are we done, now?
Jones: Actually, one more question. You've been pals with both Rod Emerson and Andrew Marshall before. So what do you think of the Steelworks break-up?
Redstone: Well, just between you and me? It's not any of my business, and it's not any of your business.
Jones: Grant Redstone... a man of few words. We'll be right back with more Saturday Night Slam Masters... after these commercials.
BC-2000
vs
Lovechild
Two of our top Cruiserweights would face off in our next match. Lovechild has been winning quite a bit recently, but he has yet to break through with that big win that will establish him as a major player. BC-2000's won-loss hasn't been spectacular, but the luchador's matches have been. His aerial style has made many a great match. It should be interesting to see how it matches up with the ground assault of Lovechild.
Lovechild came out brawling, and the smaller BC-2000
thousand wasn't able to get his defences together in time. Lovechild
mixed a few DDT's in his attack, but he seemed mostly content to beat the
smaller BC-2000 down. BC-2000 was able to take control for a bit
after a flying clothesline, but a stiff knee to the stomach put an end
to that.
Lovechild continued his domination, using a belly-to-belly
superplex and then grinding BC-2000 into the mat with a series of submission
holds, including an excruciatingly well applied Bow and Arrow. However,
Lovechild made a mistake when he tossed BC-2000 outside. Thinking
his opponent had hit the floor, Lovechild turned around and began to "thrust".
When he turned around, he was floored by a BC-2000 springboard shoulderblock.
BC kept using the springboards, following with a spring leg lariat, and
nailed Lovechild with a few good ground moves, too, before Mr. Horny countered
a headlock with a side suplex and again proceeded to tie BC-2000 in knots.
Lovechild put BC up on the top ropes, looking
to end the match. BC-2000 pushed him off and crashed onto him with
a flying shoulderblock. Lovechild staggered to his feet but was then
caught in the 2000 Time Bomb!!! BC-2000 takes the win!
BC-2000 pinned Lovechild with the 2000 Time
Bomb in 0:10:12.
Rating: *** 1/4
An impressive and sudden victory. This could
put BC into that Cruiserweight Title hunt.
After a commercial. We had our SMWA World
Tag Team Title Tournament to deal with. Here's how the brackets shape
up.
| Overcompensators
Anonymous
Ron Grayson & Cody Simmons The All-Americans The Philadelphia X-Treme Machine Dark Storm Fuerza Dragon Highland Hell The Air Raiders |
???
???
|
|
SMWA Tag
Team Title Tournament - Quarterfinal Match
Dark Storm
w/ Zists and Iznami
vs
Fuerza Dragon
Fuerza Dragon are in over their heads. They are a damn fine team, no doubt about it, but Dark Storm is something else, something not of this world. Who knows why Zists and Iznami chose to have their team participate in this tournament. All we know is that they are dangerous. They have Fuerza Dragon beat in every department. But they also have Oni and NightClaw II chasing them down. Question is, would the chase carry to tonight?
Dark Storm didn't waste any time starting this as they floored the Dragons with several double team kick moves, including some particularly violent thrust kicks. Fuego was isolated, but he managed to tag out to Actor, who got lucky when he hit Raijin with a legsweep. That was all he got. Raijin got up and took Fuego out with a thrust kick, following up with a slingshot facebuster. The tag was made to Fujin, who hit a beautiful tumbleweed. Dark Storm used a double clothesline. Rajin clocked Fuego on the apron while Fujin hit Actor with a backdrop driver. A 450 splash, and it was over.
SMWA Tag Team Title Tournament Quarterfinals
Dark Storm defeated Fuerza Dragon when Fujin
defeated Actor after a 450 splash in 0:02:21.
Rating: *** 1/4
That... was... AWESOME!!! Dark Storm advances.
| Overcompensators
Anonymous
Ron Grayson & Cody Simmons The All-Americans The Philadelphia X-Treme Machine Dark Storm Fuerza Dragon Highland Hell The Air Raiders |
???
Dark Storm
|
|
We'll have another match in the tourney later in the night, but first a commercial and a different kind of match after that.
West Bronco
vs
"The Teddy
Bear of Destruction" Rokuru
What is West Bronco doing fighting Rokuru after
getting the biggest win of his career against Jerry Kent last Saturday?
Who books this crap?
....
Well, Bronco is going to get a shot at better
things. This Monday Night on Massacre, he'll face off against the
Dark Brand. The winner will get a North American Title shot at The
Journey against Ghost.
Oddly enough, the Monday match was sanctioned
as a top contender's match on Tuesday by Commissioner McCullough, and we
all know who's pocket he's in. The real question is, why are Major
Force trying to find challengers for Ghost? And why guys like the
hot Bronco or the Titan-Killer himself, The Dark Brand?
We wouldn't have to worry about that just yet.
For now, it would be West Bronco taking on Rokuru, who's in a little Title
hunt himself, pursuing Johnny Proton and Lantern, whoever's holding the
belt at the time, for the Cruiserweight Title.
The hard-nosed Cowboy against the Kooky Cruiser.
Should be a good match.
Rokuru managed to get the first big advantage
in this encounter, flooring Bronco with a flying forearm before wrestling
him for a few minutes, trying to keep the bigger Bronco off of his feet.
It was a strategy that worked only so long as Bronco eventually nailed
Rokuru with a series of lariats, much to the delight of the crowd, before
locking on a spinning toehold.
This match followed a certain pattern.
Rokuru wrestled and used the occasional high risk move to keep Bronco off
balance, but then Bronco's power would stage a retaliation, and Rokuru
would be in tough as Bronco brawled his way through the bout. Each
man was able to play their plans very well.
Bronco picked Rokuru up for the Tombstone, but
Rokuru escaped the hold and ended up behind Bronco, where he nailed him
with a bridging back suplex for a near fall. Rokuru then planted
a cartwheel kick under Bronco's jaw, stunning Bronco enough for Rokuru
to pull a major flurry.
Rokuru pulled out all the stops. He nailed
Bronco with a spinebuster and then hit a flying sitdown splash for a two
count. There was an attempt at a Roku Driver, but Bronco was too
heavy and Rokuru didn't land the move right. Bronco hit the mat,
but not as hard as he could of, so he managed to kick out. The Deadly
Teddy kept up his attack with a few big kicks before again signalling the
Roku Driver.
Bronco was whipped into the ropes, and Rokuru
tried to get him up. Bronco nailed a stiff kick into Rokuru's chest,
standing the Cruiserweight up, and Bronco then hit a rana. He gave
the signal and lifted Rokuru up for the Tombstone. That was that.
West Bronco pinned Rokuru with the Tombstone
in 0:18:28.
Rating: ** 3/4
Rokuru proved to be quite the test for Bronco.
He'll have to do a lot better than that against the Dark Brand this Monday
if he hopes to go on to The Journey.
We took another commercial, and came back for
the TV Title Match.
SMWA Television
Title Match
"Big Oz"
Grant Redstone (C)
vs
The California
Kid
We'd like to say this is a mismatch. Redstone's
a focused powerhouse who has the raw skills to beat just about anybody.
The Kid has some good skills, but wrestles like a goof nine times out of
ten. However, you can't overlook the Kid. He's put on some
great matches against superior opponents, most notably our World Champion,
Jack Slade, who was taken to the limit by the young Cruiserweight months
ago. Redstone can't go into this match overconfident.
Oh yeah. He already predicted a win in
under five minutes. That could be big trouble.
Oz is not a popular man. He doesn't care.
The Kid, along with his Overcompensators Anonymous tag team partner, "Fly
Guy" Wally B, is an obnoxious surfer, but he gets a few cheers just for
being a goof. Quebec seemed to prefer him.
Redstone was his regular suplex machine self to
start this thing out. For the first five minutes, the Kid was tossed
all over the ring and couldn't mount any kind of offence. Looking
to help his partner, Wally B ran down to the ring to try and distract Redstone.
He ended up getting a hard right upside the jaw. Redstone then grabbed
the Kid and hooked him up for the Redstone suplex!
The Kid countered!!! He managed to hook
Redstone's leg into a drop toe hold before locking on the California Deathlock!
Redstone struggled to get out of the kneelock, but the Kid had it on tight.
Finally, after a minute, Redstone made it to the ropes in obvious pain.
We were about six or seven minutes in at this
point. Redstone's five minute promise didn't hold any water, it seemed.
The Kid kept going on the leg, not letting Big
Oz get any kind of footing. After grinding him down and locking him
in a painful ankle lock submission, the Kid used a series of legdrags to
both stun Redstone and work over the leg. Kid went up top and then
hit a Shooting Star Press! Cover.
1...
2...
BIG KICKOUT!!! The Kid went flying off of Redstone and landed in
the ropes. As he got up on the apron, Redstone was up on his feet.
He locked Kid in a suplex and slingshotted him back in the ring.
Redstone, not one to be humiliated, decided it
was time for the Kid to pay. Tiger suplex. Soviet suplex.
Redstone was showing no mercy at all. He knocked the Kid to the apron
again and once more went for a suplex. The Kid was wise, though,
and he grabbed Redstone's head, bouncing him throat first off the top.
The Kid then grabbed Redstone's leg and tossed him into the guardrail outside
again and again. Finally, though, Redstone had enough and he floored
the kid with a clothesline before taking him back inside.
Inside, Redstone's power continued to dictate
the match. Victory seemed assured... if he would just make the cover!
Redstone wasn't going for a pin. He just kept nailing suplex after
suplex on a hapless Kid. Finally, he set the kid up for the Redstone
suplex.
DING DING DING!!!
Oh no way!
Grant Redstone and The California Kid battled
to a draw in 0:20:00.
Rating: ****
(Grant Redstone retained the SMWA Television
Title.)
A DRAW!!! The Kid could barely stand, but
the match was officially a draw!!! Redstone was too eager to suplex
the kid around, and it cost him!
Redstone wasn't willing to accept it. He
hooked the Kid up for a final suplex, the Redstone suplex... but then Wally
B floored Redstone with the Flyin' Fly Guy! Redstone went down and
Wally B took the Kid out of the ring.
Wow... That was really odd.
Another commercial, another match right after.
Clone
vs
Nord Fullstrom
A couple of our top mid-card wrestlers were about to go at it. Nord Fullstrom is always capable of pulling off an upset, while Clone has been dangerous ever since he beat Kodiak Marmoset that first of many times. One used to terrorize the SMWA as part of the Doomsday Hunters. The other has all the potential - and moves - in the World.
Clone, dressed like a Viking this week, didn't
waste any time at all. In fact, this was a squash. He made
Fullstrom look silly, dazzling him with mat wrestling and high-risk moves
and even nailing a few high impact moves like spinning piledrivers and
such before finishing Fullstrom off with his own Battle-Axe Kick.
It was an entertaining squash... but a squash
nonetheless.
Clone pinned Nord Fullstrom with the Copycat
Move in 0:03:26.
Rating: ***
Backstage, Nick Jones was with Simply the Best.
Jones: Big win for Clone as he tries to regain his winning form. Fans, in our main event tonight, Major Force is going to be taking on these men, Jerry Kent, Cody Simmons and Rick Clark of Simply the Best, for the SMWA War Titles. Guys, before we start, I have one question. Where's Ron Grayson?
Cody: Ron who?
Kent: Cody, don't be like that.
Cody: Fine...
Kent: Ron has the night off.
Jones: Rick Clark, you look upset.
Clark: Why don't you shut up?
Jones: I guess you are upset.
Kent: You know what, Jones? This isn't a good time. Simply the Best has things it has to deal with, and none of them involve you sticking a microphone in our face.
Jones: Well, I certainly wouldn't want to cause more problems in Simply the Best...
Clark: More? What are you saying, Jones? That we have problems?
Jones: Well, Cody and Ron are obviously fighting over Monica...
Cody: Jones, you're an idiot. There's no fight. She's mine.
Kent: Well, Cody, where is she tonight?
Cody: ... I gave her the night off.
Clark: I wonder what she's doing with it?
Cody: ... No... I mean, she wants... She wouldn't go back... Cause he's not... Oh, I better not catch him with her!
With that Cody stormed off.
Kent: Dammit, Cody, get back here!!!
Kent left in hot pursuit of the raging Cody. It was just Jones and Clark.
Jones: Problem?
Clark fumed and tried to put together a sentence. Unfortunately, it just wasn't working. He stormed right off after Cody and Kent.
Jones: I'm beginning to like these StB interviews. We'll be back after these commercials with...
"Bonecracker"
Martin Riley
vs
The Dark
Brand
The Brand is already 1-0 against British wrestlers so far. Of course, he's British himself, so it's not really a relevant statistic. But it does help me segue into the Brand pulling off a major upset last Saturday when he beat "Titan" Tim Redbury in the middle of the ring. The big win gets the unpopular Brand a shot against West Bronco this Monday, and that match will determine the top contender for Ghost's North American Title at The Journey. But first, the mysterious Brand would have to get past Martin Riley, who has looked much sharper in recent weeks.
The Brand knew that victory
lay with his quick fighting techniques, so he employed them right off the
bat. Riley is a master shooter, and if he gets a hold of you, you're
in trouble. So the Brand did everything he could to stay away from
the mat master. Eventually, though, Riley caught him, tackling him
to the mat and locking on an elbow lock.
Riley wouldn't let the
Brand get anything going. He locked him in hold after hold after
hold, to the point where the crowd was chanting "bor-ing". But Riley's
strategy was sound. The Brand wasn't able to get any kind of offence
going. Riley looked to have the match won when he locked on the Riley
Ride... but the Brand was close enough to the ropes to be able to grab
them.
The ref forced the break,
and Riley thought he had won. The ref told him otherwise. This
gave the Brand all the time he needed. He slipped his metal brand
onto his hand and, when Riley went to pick him up, nailed him. Riley
stumbled into the corner. Just where the Brand wanted him.
The Man Tim Calls Joseph
climbed up the ropes and locked on a facelock. It was Nightfall for
Martin Riley.
The Dark Brand pinned Martin Riley with the
Nightfall in 0:11:15.
Rating: ** 1/4
The Brand, much like Bronco did earlier, pulled
off a difficult win by the skin of his teeth. Hopefully, both men
will have upped their game by Monday.
Next, we had yet another match in the SMWA Tag
Team Title Tournament. Two nutcases from Philadelphia were going
to take on a traitor and an ultra-nationalist.
SMWA Tag
Team Title Tournament - Quarterfinal Match
The Philadelphia
X-Treme Machine
vs
The All-Americans
Neither team is popular. Both teams are
damn good.
Gunloc and Chad Hillsman, with Doomsday now a
paid servant, are still looking to eliminate Biff Slamkovich and end this
War of the Super Powers. For Gunloc, especially, a Tag Title would
mean a lot. He could throw it right in Biff Slamkovich's face.
The PXM were once the most dominant team in the
SMWA, but once the Doomsday Hunters started to fall apart, so did the PXM.
If they can just pull together three straight wins in this tag tournament,
they'll be on top of the world once more
Oddly enough, the PXM is partly responsible for
the split of Gunloc and Biff Slamkovich. It was their inability to
defeat this team that formed the rift between the Super Powers. Not
that Gunloc's going to hate the PXM for doing that now.
Well, we said that neither teams were popular. But that was about to change for a night. Chad Hillsman was in Quebec. Quebec is in Canada. Canada was in for a little speech.
Hillsman: Hey, parlez-vous American? I don't give a rat's ass either way. Now, I know some of you out there are thinking "Oh, Tabernac!", but I have some news for you. I don't know if the sled dogs that McCullough dispatched from Toronto have got here yet, but I aint censored anymore, so that means I can talk to you Frogs any way I like. Didn't you try to separate from Canada a while back? Well, frankly, I could care less where you go if you do, but don't even THINK about asking the ol' USA for help, because we have enough crap coming in from other countries without having to adopt a bunch of maple syrup drinking, fat wife marryin', back-bacon smelling, poutine eating frogs like you! Hey, didn't you use to own the Colorado Avalanche? What were they called? The Quebec No-Dicks? They were the team that always lost to Montreal, right? Doesn't matter, because no Canadian team can beat any American team anymore...
At this point, the crowd was in a frenzy, throwing
things into the ring at Hillsman. He showed no signs of shutting
up. However, when the PXM music cued up, he really didn't have
a choice.
The PXM stormed the ring and attacked the All-Americans.
Boom. Popularity for a night.
The PXM knocked their old foe Gunloc from the
ring first and immediately focused their attention on Chad Hillsman.
The Quebec crowd went nuts when the PXM hit one of their trademark double
launch slams early in the match. Hillsman fell face first to the
mat and was tossed outside.
Both teams brawled around the ring, and the ref
wasn't going to stop either of them. He wasn't going to call a match
in front of a crowd that Chad Hillsman nearly encited to riot. He
might as well take their beer away.
For a while, the PXM were at their hardcore best
and they dominated this match, using whatever wasn't nailed down to pummel
the All-Americans, who were able to muster a very feeble offence at best.
Inside, the All-Americans were overpowered. Outside, they were outbrawled.
Slash Battle nailed Chad Hillsman with a series of power bombs in the ring
and nearly scored the win. A running powerslam took most of the wind
out of Hillsman's sails, too. Hillsman was finally able to do something.
When Battle ducked his head too soon, he nailed him with a piledriver and
tagged to Gunloc.
Gunloc did the stupid thing and tried to brawl
with the PXM. Battle fought his way back and made the tag to Burnz,
and the PXM again regained control on the All-Americans. But Gunloc
knew enough about the PXM to be able to fight his way back. When
Burnz went up top for the 3rd Degree, Gunloc was ready. He ducked
out of the way as Burnz flew off the top rope and Gunloc made the tag to
Hillsman.
While the PXM are the more hardcore team, the
All-Americans are better at playing the ref in a match. Using Battle
as a distraction, Gunloc and Hillsman did quite the number on Burnz.
Still, Burnz had enough left. He ducked a double lariat attempt and
then took both All-Americans down with a double lariat. The tag was
made to Battle, and the ring erupted into a brawl.
Hillsman and Gunloc knocked Burnz from the ring
and then hit Battle with the Glory Rocket!!! They went for the cover.
1...
2...
DIVE BY BURNZ BREAKS THE PIN! Hillsman went at Burnz and they spilled
outside. In the meantime, Gunloc proceeded to choke down Battle.
Burnz tossed Hillsman outside and grabbed the PXM's trademark hubcap.
Hillsman saw it and tried to get the ref's attention, giving Burnz the
chance to clock Gunloc!
1...
2...
HILLSMAN BREAKS THE PIN!
Hillsman then hit Battle with a DDT. He
wasn't the legal man, but he made the pin. The ref didn't care.
1...
2...
KICKOUT!!!
Gunloc was slowly getting up. Burnz grabbed
him by the hair. Gunloc went for the Gut Crush, but Burnz countered
with an inverted DDT!
1...
2...
NO!!!
Hillsman picked Battle up and nailed him with
the Stars & Bars! He then went at Burnz and knocked him from
the ring. A groggy Gunloc got up, climbed to the top rope and hit
a diving headbutt!
1...
2...
3!!!
SMWA Tag Team Title Tournament Quarterfinal
The All-Americans defeated The Philadelphia
X-Treme Machine when Gunloc pinned Slash after a diving headbutt in 0:21:56.
Rating: **** 1/4
INSANE ENDING, but the All-American's got the
job done. They didn't stick around to gloat, though. The French-Canadians
were getting restless, and Gunloc sensed it. He got Hillsman the
Hell out before he grabbed a microphone.
| Overcompensators
Anonymous
Ron Grayson & Cody Simmons The All-Americans The Philadelphia X-Treme Machine Dark Storm Fuerza Dragon Highland Hell The Air Raiders |
The All-Americans
Dark Storm
|
|
So the All-Americans will now face off against
Overcompensators Anonymous. Highland Hell and the Air Raiders will
face of on Massacre to fill the final semi-final slot.
We took a commercial and then returned for the
Saturday Night Tradition.
SMWA Luck of the Draw Match
We could tell our first participant wouldn't be too happy. The PXM's music started up, and out came a very tired, beat up looking Slash Battle. Everybody involved in that last match took a big beating, and Battle wasn't looking ready to go for another match. But he would. In spite of and because of his opponent.
******** Cue Mike Haggar's Music ********
MIKE HAGGAR!!!
Mike Haggar was the other man in the Luck of the Draw Match!!! And
after this match, it would be the StB vs Major Force main event!
Haggar must have been lying low all night, because NOBODY even knew he
was here... except for those who had to... Which begs the question... How
did Major Force not know?
Oh, some explanations are necessary. Jack
McCullough could be in trouble.
Slash Battle and Mike Haggar are no strangers.
They found themselves on the opposite sides of the ring several times in
the epic Doomsday Hunters feud, and Slash Battle has proved to be quite
the match for Haggar. Physically, they're very similar. Maybe
in a few years, Battle will be able to reach Haggar's level. Right
now, he's the definite underdog going in to this match. Still, Battle's
a gamer. And Haggar couldn't have possibly recovered from the beating
he suffered at Secrets. It was that violent. Still, Haggar
didn't look too bad. But he's a master of not letting on.
Before the bell rang, Battle jumped Haggar, knowing
that he had to get the jump if he wanted any sort of advantage in his current
condition. But Mike Haggar's used to being jumped. As soon
as Battle lowered his head, Haggar hit him with a swinging neckbreaker.
Haggar followed up with a powerslam and then proceeded to brawl Battle
into the mat. Slash was going down fast and needed something.
He found it when he bounced out of the corner and booted Haggar in the
stomach, following up with a big power bomb.
The match was fairly even, a surprise considering
how tired Battle must have been. Still, a match against Mike Haggar
is going to bring anybody to the top of their game. Haggar nearly
got a fall with a bridge suplex, while Battle gave Haggar a little of his
own medicine with a spinning lariat. Battle hit a double underhook
backbreaker and followed up with an elbowdrop. Haggar used a power
bomb and then hit a flying legdrop. The match kept going at an even
pace, but the longer it went, the weaker Battle got. All Haggar needed
to do was wait.
Finally, Mike Haggar made his move. Big
boot. Diving elbowsmash. Backbreaker. Superplex.
Haggar went for the cover and got the two count. He picked Battle
up but Battle thumbed him in the eye. He went to the corner and went
for his hubcap. Holding the weapon above his head, he went for Haggar.
Haggar kicked Battle in the stomach and nailed the SCREWDRIVER!!!
Thus, we had the end.
Mike Haggar pinned Slash Battle with the Screwdriver
in 0:13:39.
Rating: **** 1/4
Mike Haggar was done with Slash Battle, but he wasn't done in that ring. He asked for the microphone and delivered a message.
Haggar: I'm sure you're a little surprised I'm here, Masters. Looks like you're not in control of everything after all. I could waste my time talking to you, but it's pretty obvious that Scorp is pulling your strings, so I think I'll save it for the man himself. Scorp, you want me so bad, show up on Massacre. I'll be waiting!
And with that, Mike Haggar left the ring. He's going to deal with Scorpion before he deals with anybody else. That much is clear. But how will Saul Masters react to this?
When we came back from commercial, we found out. Masters had found Jack McCullough backstage.
Masters: What the Hell do you think you're doing?
McCullough: Waiting for you to complain, I guess.
Masters: Don't get smart with me, McCullough. You've said it yourself. YOU draw the names for the Luck of the Draw Match. YOU!
McCullough: Yeah. And this week, I picked Slash Battle and Mike Haggar.
Masters: And I'm supposed to believe it was just a coincidence.
McCullough: That's all it was.
Masters: It better have been, McCullough. Don't forget who's in charge now.
McCullough: I know exactly who's in control, Masters. I can't read your mind! You want something? You don't want something? You have to go through me.
Masters: Don't you even think about getting brave, McCullough.
McCullough: Yes SIR! Now, as Commissioner, I suggest you get your men to the ring. I wouldn't want a referee to count them out or anything.
Masters: What would it matter. I'm sure you'd reverse it if I asked.
With that, Saul Masters left a bitter, angry Jack McCullough in the back. It was time for our...
Main Event
SMWA War
Titles Match
Simply the
Best (C)
vs
Major Force
******** Cue Ring Announcer ********
RA: Ladies and Gentlemen, the following contest, scheduled for one fall, is for the SMWA SIX MAN WAR TITLES!!!
******** Cue StB's Asshole Theme ********
RA: First... "The Rebel" Jerry Kent... "Tricky" Rick Clark... "The Streetfighting Stud" Cody Simmons... THE SMWA WAR CHAMPIONS!!! SIMPLY! THE! BEST!
A very unhappy StB made their way to the ring. None of them looked too happy to be there. Quebec gave them a mixed reaction, but that probably didn't make any difference. Clark was wondering about Terry Sky and Major Force. Cody was wondering about Ron Grayson and Monica. Jerry Kent was wondering about how he could keep this whole thing together. He grabbed the mike and gave it to the fans short and sweet.
Kent: I don't speak French, and I'm not in the mood to be here, so why doesn't Saul Masters get his crew to the ring so I can get back to the hotel.
******** Cue Major Force's Music ********
RA: And their opponents... Being led to the ring by Saul Masters... Kodiak Marmoset... Ghost... Skarzz.... MAJOR! FORCE!
Major Force was resoundingly booed. Nobody
likes these guys. Everybody fears them.
Everybody in the Force was nice and composed
once they got in the ring, with the exception of Kodiak Marmoset, who immediately
tried to get under StB's skin. Rick Clark told Kent and Cody to back
off. Skarzz and Ghost went to their corner. It would be Tricky
against the Kodiak Marmoset to start this match off.
The bell rang...
Kodiak was being an annoying jerk, even making
a move to lift up Clark's eye patch. Clark responded with a right
hand to Kodiak's jaw. Kodiak was staggered by the shot, and Clark
didn't give him any time to think about it. He followed up with a
dropkick and a big superkick, knocking Kodiak to the ground. Kodiak
was whipped to StB's corner, where Clark tagged in Kent. Kent did
his thing before tagging in to Cody. Those two proceeded to double
team Kodiak.
In the meantime, Rick Clark was focused on Saul
Masters at ringside. Master noticed Clark's hostile stare.
He didn't respond.
Cody had to yell at Clark to break him out of
this trance. Clark tagged back in and nailed Kodiak with a backdrop
driver. He then went for a DDT, but Kodiak was ready for that.
He hit a Northern Lights suplex and tagged out to SKARZZ!!!
Clark got up and then took a few steps back when
he realized who he was up against. He wasn't charging in to anything
with Skarzz. Instead, he played cat and mouse for a bit before tagging
Skarzz with a superkick... which had no effect. Clark, frustrated,
tagged out to Cody. Skarzz levelled them both with a double lariat.
Skarzz had his way with Cody, who tried VERY
unsuccessfully to brawl with the big man. Cody found himself on the
bad end of a choke slam. Skarzz didn't go for the cover, but he instead
decided to choke Cody a bit before making the tag out to Ghost.
The North American Champion picked right up where
Jack Slade's top contender left off. Cody was overpowered, outwrestled,
and basically overmatch. But he's one of the toughest kids in the
SMWA, which meant he wasn't finished yet. He began to nail Ghost
with stiff fists to his jaw. Ghost shrugged them off and whipped
Cody to a corner. Cody came out, kicked Ghost in the stomach and
took him down with a POWER BOMB!!! Cody's been adding to his arsenal
lately, and Ghost never saw that coming. Quickly, Rick Clark got
the tag in.
Clark went right to work on Ghost, nailing him
with a DDT. Kodiak tried to get in the ring, but Clark took him down
with a superkick. Skarzz was caught with a dropkick as he tried to
climb over the ropes. Clark turned around to face Ghost... and was
met with a boot and the FINAL BREATH!!! Ghost went for the pin!
1...
2...
JERRY KENT BREAKS THE PIN!!! The ref grabbed Kent, Ghost tagged out
to Kodiak, while Clark managed to escape and tag in Cody.
Boos were heard in the arena as Ron Grayson made
his way to ringside.
Kodiak was met with a series of stinging fists
from Cody, who then took him down with a DDT. Grayson then yelled
something from ringside. Cody's head turned and he saw Grayson.
Ron then reached in to his pocket and began to pull something out.
A red lace bra! Grayson winked at Cody,
who went berserk and jumped out of the ring.
Our announcers were having a field day.
Tony B: I think that's Monica's bra... Yup. It's hers. That's her size, alright.
John Lee: How the Hell would you know that?
Tony B: Well, um, she showed me.
John Lee: You're a married man!
Tony B: I swear, I never touched them... HER!!! I MEANT HER!!!
Cody and Grayson brawled at ringside. Clark and Kent tried to pry the two apart. In the meantime, the referee continued to count... AND STB WAS COUNTED OUT!!!
Major Force (Ghost, Kodiak Marmoset, and Skarzz)
defeated Simply the Best (Cody Simmons, Jerry Kent, and Rick Clark)
when
Kodiak Marmoset defeated Simmons by countout in 0:11:30.
Rating: ** 1/2
(Simply the Best (Cody Simmons, Jerry Kent,
and Rick Clark) retained the SMWA War Titles.)
Major Force was victorious, but StB didn't care. As Monica's bra lay on the ground at ringside, Jerry Kent and Rick Clark were trying desperately to separate Cody and Grayson.