Monday Night Massacre opened with two massive explosions.  One was from the fireworks.  The other was from the fans.  We were going to melt the Ice Palace tonight!
    And speaking of explosive situations...

    Mike Haggar was on his way to the ring.
    Last week, Saul Masters issued the challenge to both Mike Haggar and Jack Slade.  If they faced Skarzz and Alexander "The Grater" at Slam Masters: Secrets, Saul Masters would reveal a Sixth member of Major Force.  Haggar's appetite was sufficiently whetted, and he accepted.  Jack Slade refused the challenge and was beaten for his troubles.  If Mike Haggar came out to talk about anything else except for the Secrets situation, he'd be disappointing a lot of people.

HAGGAR:  Ever get the feeling some people are just difficult for the Hell of it?  Last week, Major Force offers me, offers Jack Slade and offers all of us the chance to be introduced to their "Sixth Member".  It might be a bluff.  It might not be.  Either way, I want to know exactly what I'm going to be up against.  One problem, though.  Jack, I don't know why you're being difficult.  Seems to me you have just as much to gain as I do by figuring this out.  Makes me wonder why exactly you aren't accepting.  So how about you come on down here and explain yourself.

    The crowd cheered in anticipation.  Why wasn't Jack Slade teaming with Haggar?  Does Slade know something about this Sixth Member?  Is he the Sixth Member?

    Well, here came an explanation.  Hopefully.
    Jack Slade didn't look too happy to have to be coming down to the ring.  Mic in hand, he was ready to read the riot act to Mike Haggar.

SLADE:  First of all, Mike, I'm past that point where I have to explain my actions to you.  Second of all, I don't like what you're implying.

HAGGAR:  Well, okay, Jack.  Why didn't you accept Major Force's offer.

SLADE:  Well, Mike, what do you think?

HAGGAR:  Oh, we're going to play this game, are we?  Okay, Jack.  Two reasons.  One, this "shadow" business.  You don't want to team with me because you're worried that it will put you right back in my shadow.  That we'll have to team up to get rid of Major Force and you're going to consider yourself second best.

SLADE:  That one sounds interesting.

HAGGAR:  And if that one were the case, I'd tell you get over it!  Jack, this isn't going to be a long term thing.  I want to find out if Major Force has somebody in the background, and if they do, who is it?  One match.  After Secrets, you can go your own way.  Hell, until Secrets, we don't even have to talk, see each other, plan strategy.  I really don't care how you want to approach this match.  If Major Force has somebody there, I want to find out who.

SLADE:  Gee, Mike, that's a really compelling argument, but I think I'll still pass.  I don't care if Major Force has a six members, sixty members or six hundred members.  And I really do not care who they are.  If they want to mess with me, I'm going to deal with them... ALONE!  You handle it your way, I'll handle it my way.

HAGGAR:  I guess that brings me to my second theory.

SLADE:  Which is?

HAGGAR:  That I'm looking at the sixth member of Major Force right now.

    The crowd heard that!  A pretty severe accusation by Mike Haggar.  Slade responded with just a hint of sarcasm.

SLADE:  Oh, looks like you found me out, Mike.  I'm the sixth member of Major Force.  That's why they KICKED MY ASS LAST WEEK!!!  Boy, we sure didn't fool you, did we?  Seriously, Mike, how did you get allowed on to the police force with ass-backwards logic like that?

HAGGAR:  It's just funny how they asked me first when they had more than enough time to ask you when you called them out.

SLADE:  Well, you're the one who accepted.  Maybe I should be asking you about your membership in Major Force?

HAGGAR:  Excuse me?

SLADE:  They beat the Hell out of me twice, and you got off without a scratch.  Makes more sense for them not to beat on their secret member then attack him.

HAGGAR:  You honestly think I'd join Major Force?

SLADE:  You honestly think I'D join Major Force?

    There was a huge moment of tension between these two.  It was like each man was waiting for the other to slip up.  Haggar spoke first.

HAGGAR:  This is ridiculous.  I'm out of here.

SLADE:  Hey, don't let the ropes hit you on your way out!

HAGGAR:  Where do you get off?

SLADE:  Probably a couple stops after you, Mike.

    The crowd noticed somebody coming down the aisle.
    Jessica Haggar was on her way to the ring.  Hopefully, she could bring some sense into this situation.  She asked her father for his mic.

JESSICA:  How old are you two?  Right now, I'd guess about five.

    The crowd reacted to that one.  Jess was about to lay it down.

JESSICA:  Dad, I know Jack pretty well.  If he wanted to get to you, he'd do it himself.  That's how he's done it so far.  So why would he need to trick you?  Why would he need Major Force?  And Jack!  My dad's spent his whole life fighting gangs.  Why would he want to join one?  If Major Force has a sixth man, we need to know, one way or the other.  You guys have to team up.

    The crowd cheered wildly.  They wanted to see Haggar and Slade together.  They wanted to know if there was going to be a sixth member or not.  They wanted this match to go.
    Slade was still pissed.

SLADE:  You know something, Jess.  That sounds pretty logical.  But why do you want me and Mike teaming again?

JESSICA:  If you're trying to imply that I'm hanging on to something...

SLADE:  No, Jess, that's not it.  You just seem pretty adamant to have us team up.  Kind of like you'd like us alone in a ring with Major Force.

    Haggar took the mic back from Jessica.

HAGGAR:  Okay, stop right there, Jack.  Don't say one more word.

SLADE:  What, Mike?  Afraid it's true?

    Haggar smacked Slade in the face!  Slade touched his cheek and then made a move for Haggar!
    Jessica stepped in between them.  She didn't want to be there as these two fought.  Haggar looked like he was ready to kill Slade for insulting his daughter.  Slade was just as pissed.  He stepped away from the confrontation first, though.  Deadly serious, he spoke.

SLADE:  Okay.  Alright.  It's on.  Mike, you and me will team up.  But I want Jess there at ringside.  If it is one of you two, I at least want to see you stick the knife in my back.  Those are MY conditions.

HAGGAR:  Fine.

    We had a match!  Mike Haggar and Jack Slade against Major Force!  It's going to go down!
    Slade wasn't done.

SLADE:  Fine.  And once we've finished that match, we're finished.  I handle Major Force my way, you handle them your way, and that's it.

HAGGAR:  Hey, if that's what you want.

SLADE:  That's how it's going to be, Mike.  See you there.  You too, Jessica.

HAGGAR:  I guess so.

    Jack Slade left the ring and made his way to the back.
    These two don't trust each other anymore.  Every word they say to each other is filled with tension.  There might be no going back.  Now, they'll have to face off against Alexander "The  Grater" and Skarzz, one of the most destructive tandems in the history of the SMWA.  This could get messy.

    Welcome to Monday Night Massacre.  Do we have a show for you tonight.
    Johnny Proton defends his newly won Cruiserweight Title against Lantern.
    In preparation for their tag team match at Secrets, Andrew Marshall of Steelworks will face off against Cody Simmons of Simply the Best.
    Doomsday will enjoy a workout as he takes on Wally B.
    The Flying Scotsman is here with words for Kodiak Marmoset, who was responsible for injuring the knee of Hamish Mactavish.
    Skarzz and Alexander "The Grater" defend their SMWA World Tag Team Titles against the exciting Air Raiders.
    Titan Tim and The Dark Brand will have a confrontation, hopefully revealing the reason behind their feud.
    And, in our main event, Mike Haggar, just coming off of accepting the challenge for Secrets, will attempt to derail an Express as he takes on Major Force member Kodiak Marmoset.
    Before we went to commercial, we went backstage.  Johnny Proton was down on the  ground, unconscious.  Lantern was walking away with a pipe of some sort!  Lantern had attacked Johnny Proton!  And their Cruiserweight Title match was coming up next!!!

    Lantern had just assaulted the Cruiserweight Champ!  Obviously still bitter about Proton receiving a Title shot before he did, Lantern wanted to do some major damage.  Obviously, he did.
    Backstage, Proton was being helped up by officials.  They tried to get him to a doctor.  But Johnny wasn't having any of it.  He shrugged them off and began walking to the ring!
    Lantern came out first, obviously pleased with himself.  He took in all the boos from the crowd and mockingly played to them, as if he was being cheered.
    Lantern got into the ring and looked at the referee.  The ring announcer announced Proton's name.  Nobody came out.  Lantern must have been smiling under his mask.
    Once again, the ring announcer announced Johnny's name. Nobody.
    The ref walked over to the ring announcer and the two had a nice talk.  The ring announcer had a message for the crowd.

RA:  Ladies and Gentlemen, I have just been informed by the referee that if Johnny Proton does not come down to the ring, he will be counted out and the match will be awarded to Lantern!

    Lantern became irate at this news.  He probably expected Proton to show up to give him an easy win.  Instead, Lantern was going to get that win by count out, which would mean no Cruiserweight Title!  The ref started to count, but Lantern stopped him!  The ref warned Lantern that, if he did that again, he'd get disqualified!
    Lantern had worked himself into quite the spot!
    1....
    The crowd began to cheer as Johnny Proton slowly made his way to the ring!
    2... 3....
    Lantern exited the ring and went after Proton.
    4... 5... 6...
    Lantern grabs the still hurt Proton and drags him to the ring ring.
    7... 8... 9...
    Both men enter the ring.  The bell rings.  Lantern picks Proton up, jumps on his shoulders, twists around and hits a rana.  The ref counts.
    1...
        2...
            3!!!

Lantern pinned Johnny Proton after a rana in 0:00:08.
Rating: *
(Lantern won the SMWA Cruiserweight Title.)

    Lantern leapt up to celebrate as the crowd booed.  For the fourth time in a month, we had a new Cruiserweight Champion.  The crowd couldn't be more pissed off.
    Proton was having troubles in the ring.  He had taken a bad bump backstage with that pipe and was in no condition to be in that ring.  What Lantern did was absolutely revolting.
    Regardless, we had a new Champ.  Disgusting.

    Before we broke for commercials, we saw "Titan" Tim Redbury in the back, obviously on his way to the ring.  When we returned, the music kicked up and Titan was ready to join us.  He and the Dark Brand have been dropping clues to each other over the past few weeks, all evolving from the Brand's constant attacks on Titan.  Maybe we'd have some questions answered for us this week.
    Titan climbed into the ring and grabbed the microphone.

TITAN:  Brand?  I'm waiting.  Where are you?

    Nobody appeared.  The crowd was buzzing with anticipation, but nobody was on their way to the ring.  Titan made the call again.

TITAN:  I can start this with or without you here, Joseph.  Your decision.

    There's that name again.  Joseph.  Apparently, that's the name of the Dark Brand.  The same Dark Brand who still was a no show.  The Brand seemed to be toying with Titan.

TITAN:  Alright.  I'll just have to start without you, then.  I'd like to tell you fans a little story.  Back home in London, I had a career as an actor.  I lose the term "career" very loosely, however.  I was a good actor, but there just weren't many roles for a big man that didn't involve being an idiot.  I bounced from show to show, beating people up... really, it wasn't that different from wrestling.  However, I did almost get a shot at something bigger.  It was a production of MacBeth.  A half decent production, and I was offered a role as MacBeth's servant, Seyton.  I took it.  I don't know how Shakespeare literate you people are, so I won't go into any excruciating detail, but I was to be part of a fight scene.  Our fight co-ordinator also happened to play the part of MacDuff.  Very strong man, much bigger than many actors who wanted to do Shakespeare at that time.  Very talented, too.  Brilliant, brilliant man.  We became good friends and, even though I left the company, we kept close contact with one another.  Now, the company was about to do a production of Hamlet.  The lead actor was leaving for other things, and Joseph was one of the top men contending for the role of Hamlet himself.  That's the role every actor who does Shakespeare wants.  Hamlet is the top.  There are no bigger roles.  However, I discovered that Joseph didn't get the role.  Hamlet wasn't supposed to be a strong man.  Soon after, I lost touch with Joseph.
    Now, I don't know the why's, the how's or the where's, but I do know this much.  Dark Brand, you sound like Joseph.  You're his height, his build.  The comparison to Hercules from a few weeks back... an allusion to Hamlet.  So, Joseph, why don't you just drop the charade and come out where we can all see you?

    The lights in the arena suddenly went dim.  The Dark Brand's music started to play.  Then, a spotlight shone atop SlamVision!  It was the Dark Brand!!!  He was perched on top of the SlamVision screen!!!

BRAND:  You do but dally.  I pray you pass with your best violence.  I am sure you make a wanton of me.

TITAN:  Hamlet, Act 5, Scene 2.  Hamlet and Laertes duel.  Drop the act, Joseph.

BRAND:  You truly are well read, Titan.  I know of this Joseph.  A very excellent actor, and a very smart man.  Am I Joseph?  You seem to have reached such a conclusion.  Perhaps you are wondering what business the Brand has with you?  'Tis simple.  These masses need a show.  With my fellow thespian, I am more than happy to oblige.  Seven nights hence, I challenge thee to a row.  Do I have your acceptance.

TITAN:  You're asking me for a fight next week?  Is that it?

BRAND:  A fight?  Nay, a show, Titan.  Call it a show.  For we shall entertain as none before have.

TITAN:  This isn't the theatre, Joseph.  This is professional wrestling.  You're insane.

BRAND:  I am but the part I play.  Do you accept?

TITAN:  What do you think.

BRAND:  Good man.  Seven nights.  Farewell.

    With that, the spotlight went off and the Brand ducked into the shadows.
    The Dark Brand is an ex fight choreographer acting like a superhero.  That was a bit of a shocker.  And he's here to put on a show?  What is going through that man's head?
    Either way, if he wants a show, Titan will give him one next week.  And Brand may not be happy with what happens.

    We went backstage, where we saw Ron Grayson and Jerry Kent of Simply the Best.  Rick Clark was there, too, on a cell phone in the background.   Cody had his match coming up next, but he wasn't among them.  Neither was Monica.  Cody then arrived with Monica at his side.

CODY:  Sorry.

MONICA:  Sorry.

GRAYSON:  You two ready to go?

CODY:  More than ready, Ron.  Who's Rick on the phone with.

KENT:  Who knows.

GRAYSON:  Where were you two?

CODY:  Just getting ready.  Right Monica.

MONICA:  Yup.

CLARK:  (Into the phone)  Okay, thanks.  (Hangs up).  You guys aren't going to believe this.  I just got a call from one of the guys at the bus station.  Guess who's taking a cab to the building?

MONICA:  Mike Haggar?

CLARK:  He was already... Nevermind.  Anybody else?

KENT:  He finally gathered up the money.

CLARK:  I don't know how he could afford the cab ride, though.

GRAYSON:  Maybe Masters paid for it!

    There was a pause in the group.  Clark broke the silence.

CLARK:  Maybe Sky paid for it himself.

GRAYSON:  Well, it's sort of the same thing, isn't it?

    Another awkward pause was ended by the ringing of Rick Clark's cell phone.

    We came back from commercial to see Rick Clark on the phone again.

CLARK:  Saul...  He didn't say a thing...  It was a joke...  Why the Hell are you calling me on the phone?  We're in the same building...  No, I'm not going to talk to him...  Because you're overreacting...  No, don't do that...  Saul...  Saul...  No, you don't have to send Skarzz over here...  Do you want to talk to him?...  Fine, get over here...  Fine, he'll meet you...

    Sounds like StB is once again on Major Force's bad side.
    Cody Simmons came to the ring with Monica at his side.  Looks like him and Grayson are sharing managers again.
    Cody climbed into the ring, grabbed a mic and started to rant.

CODY:  I'm in a hockey arena.  In Tampa Bay.  Hockey.  Tampa Bay.  You know, that's kind of like a beach in New York City.  Both stink, and nobody comes out to either.  Hey, you don't like it, I don't care, cause I'm Simply the Best, I'm an asshole and DAMN PROUD OF IT!!!

    Cody would be a lot more popular if he didn't always run down the city he was wrestling in.  Still, you've got those StB diehards.  When Cody talked, they cheered.  Weird.
    Andrew Marshall came out to a decent pop next.  He didn't run down any cities or hockey teams (after all, he's from Pittsburgh).  He got into the ring and got ready to go.
    Marshall's team of Steelworks has had its issues with Cody Simmons and Ron Grayson.  The two teams will meet at Slam Masters: Secrets and have met over the past few weeks, locking horns in singles action.  Marshall defeated long time foe Grayson last week, while Cody disposed of Rod Emerson two weeks ago.  This would be the "winners" match, I suppose.
    The bell rang...

    Cody came out punching, stunning Marshall with quick lefts and rights.  When Cody is boxing well, there's almost nobody who can touch him, and tonight was one of those night.  Marshall would make a move on Cody, but Cody would simply side step and pepper Marshall with punches.  However, Cody made the mistake of getting too close on a series of body shots.  Marshall responded with a double underhook suplex and then floored Cody with a series of lariats.  One lariat knocked Cody outside.
    Out came Rod Emerson.  Cody got up and saw Emerson standing right there.  He took a swing, but Emerson ducked and tackled Cody into the apron of the ring.  The Streetfighting Stud winced in obvious pain.
    Where was Ron Grayson?  Why wasn't he stopping any of this?
    Cody was rolled back inside, and Marshall continued to pound on him, tossing him all around the ring like he was a basketball.  After some basic tosses and holds, Marshall grabbed Cody around the waist and hit him with a belly-to-belly suplex... and another one... and another one!  Five belly-to-belly suplexes later and Cody was a mess on the mat.  Still, the match wasn't over.  Cody managed to find an opening to deliver a well placed jumping knee into Marshall's gut.  Jackhammer had the wind taken out of him with that move and fell to the mat.
    Cody kept mixing wrestling with boxing, punching Marshall for a bit and then nailing him with moves like DDTs and bulldogs.  Marshall couldn't keep up with Cody and was having trouble with his wind.  However, Cody got cocky.  He began to taunt Marshall, who levelled him with a football style tackle.  Cody decided it was time to end things.
    Simmons reached into one of his pockets and produced a pair of knucks.  An unsuspecting Marshall grabbed Cody and received a stiff shot in the jaw.  He fell right to the mat.  Cody made the cover.
    1...
        2...
            EMERSON PUTS MARSHALL'S FOOT ON THE ROPES!!!
    Cody was pissed that Emerson had delayed his win and called him on it.  He started jawing with Emerson as Marshall slowly got to his feet.  Emerson accused Cody of using a pair of knucks, which the ref heard.  Cody had already stored the knucks down his pants and shrugged off the accusation.  He turned around and was LEVELLED by a reverse clothesline from Marshall!!!  Jackhammer made the pin!
    1...
        2...
            3!!!

Andrew Marshall pinned Cody Simmons after a reverse clothesline in 0:08:49.
Rating: *** 1/4

    With an assist from his tag team partner, Andrew Marshall takes the match.
    Where was CODY'S tag team partner?

    We went backstage, where Ron Grayson and Saul Masters were having a little talk.

GRAYSON:  Look, I don't think you did anything wrong.  Sky was a moron and that money could have gone anywhere.

MASTERS:  That's not what you implied earlier.

GRAYSON:  I was joking.  Sky hears me ribbing him like that, he's going to flip!

MASTERS:  Ron, I'll never accuse you of being swift, but Simply the Best are very clever boys.  Surely you can come up with something other than me to attack Terry Sky with.  You used to work with him, after all.

GRAYSON:  Look, we're not trying to accuse you...

MASTERS:  Did I not pay you well enough?

GRAYSON:  Yes, you did, but...

MASTERS:  Is it wrong for me, then, to expect such a tiny favour for that money?

GRAYSON:  I just don't think you should overreact.

MASTERS:  And I don't think you should tell me how to react.  Even if you're joking, slander is slander.  I have bigger things to worry about.  Do you understand?

    There was a moment of silence between Masters and Grayson.  Grayson understood, but he sure didn't like it.

GRAYSON:  Okay.  We'll play it your way.  But this works both ways, right?  You don't go after Haggar and Slade with any of our stuff, okay?

MASTERS:  Ron, you have nothing to worry about.  Major Force has no stomach for skits.

GRAYSON:  Good.

    With that, Ron Grayson left his meeting with Saul Masters.
    Masters doesn't want anybody tying him to Terry Sky's money, no matter how indirectly.  Did Masters take it?  Probably.  Can we prove it?  Probably not.  Still, he's being very cautious.  Or does he just not want Terry Sky on his back?

    Next up... Well, this would be interesting.