January 16th, 1999
From the SkyReach Centre, Edmonton, Alberta, Canada
It's Saturday Night.  Do you know where YOUR action is?

    We're in the Great White North this week for what should be another great edition of Saturday Night Slam Masters.  An arena full of Edmontonians is ready.  Are you?
    Tonight, the new Fuerza Dragon will take on the powerful Steelworks in tag team action.
    The Dark Brand strikes again as he faces off against Nitro.
    Top Cruiserweights will do battle as Johnny Proton meets the man who recently dethroned him as Cruiserweight Champion, Lantern
    Clone returns from the beating he took at the hands of Major Force.  He'll step out of that frying pan and into the fire of Grant Redstone.
    Two Titles will be decided, as Kodiak Marmoset defends the TV Title against Lovechild while Simply the Best will defend the War Titles against West Bronco and the Air Raiders.
    Gunloc, who gets a World Title match on Monday's Massacre, will be in action.
    We will have the Saturday Night Tradition, the Luck of the Draw Match.
    And, in our main event, the shockwaves from the Highland Hell/Major Force encounter hit our main event, as Skarzz takes on The Highland Giant, Hamish Mactavish, in Falls Count Anywhere action.
    Nick Jones is backstage to do our interviews, Johnny Lee and Tony B are on the mics at ringside, and we're ready for our first match.

Steelworks vs Fuerza Dragon

    Steelworks has been stumbling since dropping a World Tag Team Titles match to Highland Hell at Thanksgiving Thunder.  The newly retooled Fuerza Dragon, with Actor taking Hielo's place, is one and one.  Steelworks needs to keep some momentum going in to what looks to be a future encounter with Simply the Best's Ron Grayson and Cody Simmons.  Fuerza Dragon needs to establish themselves as a force.
    A lot to gain for both teams, indeed.
    Fuego would start off against "Jackhammer" Andrew Marshall.  The bell rang...

    Marshall made a few lunges at Fuego early on, but Fuego managed to dodge the more powerful Marshall and kept him off balance with a series of martial arts kicks and high risk moves.  Marshall had trouble catching up to Fuego until Fuego attempted a hiptoss.  Marshall blocked the move and flattened Fuego with a lariat.  The tag was made to Emerson, who grabbed Fuego from behind as Marshall nailed him with a lariat.  Emerson followed with a German suplex for an early near fall.  Fuego was in trouble until Emerson missed an elbowdrop.  Actor was tagged in and the Dragons went to work.
    A series of high risk double team moves had Emerson in a dangerous position.  The Dragons then decided to work on the legs of the larger Emerson.  Emerson fought back as best he could, but the Dragons kept blitzing him from every possible angle.  Actor went to lock on his Take Four leglock, and Marshall had seen enough.  He jumped into the ring and nailed Actor with a DDT.  Emerson tagged out to Marshall.
    Jackhammer levelled the Dragons with a series of lariats before dropping them both with two reverse lariats.  Marshall focused his attack on the legal man, Actor, planting him with a running powerslam before climbing to the second rope for a flying fistdrop.  A cover resulted in a two count.  Marshall dominated for the next few minutes until Actor tossed him outside.  Out of pure desperation, Actor dove over the ropes with a flip plancha.  Marshall moved and Actor hit the ground hard.
    The rest of the match was almost completely dominated by Steelworks.  The Dragons had their moments, including a beautiful series of leg lariats by Fuego, but they couldn't do anything else to Marshall and Emerson.  Marshall picked Fuego up and planted him with the De-Facer.
    1...
        2...
            NO!  ACTOR BREAKS IT!!!
    Marshall was a little upset at this interruption and decided to do something about it.  He picked up Fuego... and tossed him to Actor!!!  Actor made the tag and charged at Marshall.
    Marshall caught him around the waist and planted him with a belly-to-belly suplex.  Then another one.  And another.  Five belly to belly suplexes later, the Actor found himself outside the ring thanks to a massive lariat.  The ref started his count.  That was it.

Steelworks (Andrew Marshall and Rod Emerson) defeated Fuerza Dragon (Dragon de Fuego and Dragon de Actor) when Marshall defeated Actor by countout in 0:16:49.
Rating: ** 3/4

    A dominating win by Steelworks, who seem to be quickly getting back on track.
    We went backstage to Nick Jones.

Jones:  A big win by the Steelworkers here to open up Saturday Night Slam Masters.  Welcome, fans.  Tonight, we've got a great card for you and one huge main event.  And when I say huge, I mean seven feet, three hundred and fifty pounds of Skarzz facing off against this man, The Highland Giant, Hamish Mactavish.  How are you doing, Hamish?

Hamish:  Well, since you asked, pretty damn horrible.

Jones:  I'm guessing you're referring to your World Tag Team Title loss on Monday?

Hamish:  No!  I'll tell you what's botherin' me, Jones.  Tonight, I got a match with Skarzz, one big bloody bastard.  Sounds like enough, doesn't it?  Well, no.  No, it's not.  Because I'm also in that stupid Luck of the Draw Match.

Jones:  Luck of the Draw?  That's right before the main event!

Hamish:  So you see why I'm a little grumpy.  Masters, I know ya fear Highland Hell, but to buy me a place in a match before I take on Skarzz...

Jones:  Hold on, Hamish.  You're accusing SMWA officials of being bribed by Saul Masters just so you can wrestle twice in one evening?

Hamish:  Well, Saul Masters magically gets money and, suddenly, I'm wrestling before I'm supposed to beat up Skarzz.  Somethin's going on, I tell ya.  But I don' give a damn.  Whoever I'm wrestling against in Luck of the Draw, I'll beat you in five minutes.  Then Skarzz?  You're next.  Good day to you, Jones.

Jones:  Hamish Mactavish with some pretty strong accusations against the SMWA and against Saul Masters.  He's going to have to wrestle twice in one night, and he's not happy about that at all.  We'll have more Saturday Night Slam Masters after this break.

"Bonecracker" Martin Riley vs "Fly Guy" Wally B

    The mat wrestling purist against the would be homeboy from Omaha, Nebraska.  Talk about a clash in styles.  These two are both new to the SMWA.  Riley is looking for his first win, while Wally B is just looking to build up a little momentum after a loss to the California Kid.  This would be interesting.

    The Fly Guy flew off at the bell and started using his aerial moves on Riley, who has shown little in speed or aerial ability.  B hit with a few flying forearm shots, dropkicks, leg lariats and a flying cross body press for a very near fall.  He went up top and went for the Flying Fly Guy, but it was way too early for that.  Riley caught him on the way up and slammed him to the mat.  Riley then picked him up once more and took him down with a double underhook suplex.  Riley then locked on a cross face chicken wing.  B wasn't giving up, but the move succeeded in wearing him down.
    Riley, knowing that B had the edge in the air, did his best to keep him grounded for the rest of the match, locking him in a series of necklocks and nerveholds.  B was in a lot of pain but wasn't ready to give up just yet.  He fought his way out of a guillotine choke with a kick to the shins and felled Riley with a dropkick.  B went for another one, but Riley moved and went back to the mat work.
    Wally finally gained a definitive edge over Riley with a bulldog headlock.  He then climbed up to the top and flew off with a flying elbowdrop.  Riley rolled out of the way.  B hit the ground hard.
    Riley looked to put it all away.  He grabbed B's legs, locked them down, put him in a reverse chinlock and rolled him over.  IT WAS THE RILEY RIDE!!!  THE MOVE THAT WON HIS FATHER THE WORLD TITLE!!!
    Wally was screaming in pain.  He was going to give up...
    THE CALIFORNIA KID RUNS INTO THE RING AND BREAKS THE HOLD!!!

Martin Riley defeated Wally B by disqualification in 0:10:22.
Rating: * 1/4

    Riley had picked up his first win, but it wasn't one he was happy with.  He got up and saw Cal in the ring.  Cal went at him with a roundhouse right, but Riley blocked it and levelled the Kid with a punch to the head.  The Kid rolled outside and Riley chased him into the  back.
    Was the California Kid helping Wally B?
    We went to a commercial and returned to our resident man of mystery.

The Dark Brand vs Nitro

    You know, the Brand probably could have built up a decent fan following.  That is, until he attacked "Titan" Tim Redbury last week and again on Massacre.  Branding Titan twice has earned the Brand the boos of the crowd.  Tonight was no different.
    Nitro is always a dangerous opponent, a man who is very capable of pulling off an upset.  He should be quite the test for the man from the Streets of London.
    The bell rang...

    This was Brand's match from the get go.  Brand's speed and technique left Nitro dumbfounded.  Brand started with a few quick dropkicks and a high cross body press.  In desperation, Nitro went for his big lariat, the Nitro Flash, but Brand ducked and took Nitro down with a drop toehold.  He then dropped an elbow on the back of Nitro's head.
    Brand upped the assault with a spinning DDT and a nice crucifix for a near fall.  The action spilled outside, where Nitro got the briefest of edges when he tossed the Brand into a ringpost.  Nitro then picked up a chair and set it up.  His face was quickly slammed into the unfolded chair as the Brand dropped him with a Rocker Dropper.  Nitro was pretty much done when the Brand rolled him inside.  Brand gave the signal and, seconds later, Nitro was nothing but another victim of the Nightfall.  That, as they say, was that.

The Dark Brand pinned Nitro with the Nightfall in 0:05:02.
Rating: *

    Brand had picked up the win.  He went outside but, before disappearing into the crowd, the Brand grabbed the microphone.

Brand:  Tim Redbury.  No more like a Titan than I to Hercules.  You have received the mark, my boy.  You are not what you are.  You are mine.

    With those poetic, cryptic words, the Brand jumped over the rail and disappeared into the crowd.  What was that supposed to achieve?  Maybe only the Brand and Titan know.
    After commercials, we'd have two former Cruiserweight Champs locking up.

Lantern vs Johnny Proton

    They met at New Year's Smash and Lantern took Johnny Proton's Cruiserweight Title.  He then proceeded to lose it last week to Rokuru.  The winner of this match is obviously going to be in line for a Cruiserweight Title shot... although the loser might be, too.
    The Mexican Luchador vs The American High Flyer.  It's a clash of styles that has worked wonders in the past.
    The bell rang...

    After an exchange of dropkicks and armdrags, Proton took Lantern down with a Frankensteiner.  Lantern came back with one of his own.  Proton countered and dropped Lantern to the mat with a power bomb.  A stunned Lantern was then hooked up in a Ziplock and was near submitting nearly a minute into the match.  Proton released the hold and dropped a leg on Lantern for a two count.  Lantern got up and was taken back down with a Victory Roll for another two count.  Proton wasn't going to waste any time.  He got several move near falls before dropping Lantern with a vertical suplex.  Proton went up top and came off with a flying reverse elbowdrop.
    Lantern moved!  Proton hit the mat hard and, as he got up to his feet, Lantern took him down with a rana, hooked the legs and cradled Proton.
    THREE COUNT!!!

Lantern pinned Johnny Proton after a rana in 0:03:07.
Rating: ***

    Proton, stunned, got up and contested the count, which did seem a little bit fast.  But nothing changed.  Lantern had just taken a shockingly fast win over Proton.  Amazing.
    Nick Jones was backstage.

Jones:  A shockingly fast win for the former Cruiserweight Champion of the World, Lantern.  Fans, we hope you're enjoying Saturday Night Slam Masters so far.  I'm about to bring in one of my *ahem* favourite people to interview, "Tricky" Rick Clark.  Rick...

Clark:  Yes?

Jones:  Tonight, you and Simply the Best have to defend those newly won War Titles against the team of West Bronco and The Air Raiders, now Rick...

Clark:  Do we?  Thanks for letting me know, Jones.

Jones:  I'm letting everybody know, Rick...

Clark:  Well, now anybody that's watching, knows.  Good job on that one.

Jones:  Can we continue.

Clark:  I wasn't aware that we had stopped.

Jones:  We hadn't.

Clark:  Good.  Then what's your question.

Jones:  About the War Titles match...

Clark:  What about it?

Jones:  CAN YOU STOP INTERRUPTING ME?

Clark:  Man, sorry, Nick.  Go ahead.

Jones:  Now, one of the participants in the match is West Bronco.

Clark:  Yes.

Jones:  And he's had some trouble as of late with Jerry Kent.

Clark:  Uh-huh.

Jones:  Look, either you stop interrupting me or you'll be doing this interview yourself.

Clark:  Okay.  So I'm here with SMWA Announcer Nick Jones.  Nick, how are you doing this evening?

    Jones handed Clark the mic and left.  Clark smiled.

Clark:  We'll be back after these messages.

    Nick Jones sure loves interviewing Rick Clark, don't ya think?

"Big Oz" Grant Redstone vs Clone

    Clone hasn't been seen since Kodiak Marmoset and Major Force nearly crippled him at New Year's Smash.  He's healed up enough to wrestle, though, and he wasn't going to be dumb enough to dress up like Kodiak this time.
    Nope.  This week he was Grant RedClone.
    This guy has a death wish, doesn't he.
    Redstone saw how Clone was dressed up and wasn't at all impressed.  He stormed the ring and tackled Clone.  The bell rang...

    Redstone knocked Clone over the top rope and followed him outside.  Clone hit him below the belt, grabbed a chair and smashed it across Redstone's face.
    The ref called for the bell.

Grant Redstone defeated Clone by disqualification in 0:00:16.
Rating: *

    That was quite short.  Clone, after the chairshot, merely disappeared into the back.
    I think the beating he took scrambled up his brains.
    We went to a commercial and returned for TV Title action.  Maybe that's why Clone wanted out of the ring so fast.

SMWA Television Title Match
Kodiak Marmoset (C) w/ Saul Masters vs Lovechild

    The lover vs The Loser.  Or, at least, that's how the crowd saw Kodiak.  And that's what they chanted when he came to the ring.  Man, the little psychopath can't get any respect.  He's the TV Champ and everybody is still calling him a loser.  Except, with that Title around his waist, Kodiak didn't seem to mind so much.
    Lovechild has been wrestling fairly well as of late and it's going to be up to him to convert that momentum into something.  Like a TV Title win?
    This isn't the first time these two have met.  In fact, Kodiak and Lovechild faced off in the finals of the SMWA Cruiserweight Title Tournament, a match that Kodiak won.  Tonight, it was a different Kodiak and the stakes were a little higher.
    If Lovechild wins the TV Title, that's going to be a damn major blow to Major Force.  But that's a big if.
    The bell rang...

    Lovechild started wrestling before Kodiak could start brawling, and that gave Lovechild the early edge in this encounter.  He managed to wear the TV Champ down with several holds and locked him into an abdominal stretch, using the ropes for added leverage.  Saul Masters protested from ringside.  Like Kodiak wouldn't do it if he had the chance.
    Lovechild kept up his assault with a stomachbreaker.  He then planted a knee in Kodiak's stomach and put all of his weight on it as he grabbed Kodiak's head.  Lovechild was making it hard for Kodiak to breathe.  He let go and picked Kodiak up once more.
    Kodiak started planting lefts and rights into Lovechild's stomach and a brawl ensued, a brawl where Kodiak had the edge.  He outmuscled Lovechild and looked ready to hit him with his finishing move, the superkick he now calls the Big V.  Kodiak charged at Lovechild, who backdropped him over the ropes.  Kodiak held on and landed on the apron.  Lovechild turned around, Kodiak jumped onto the top rope and nailed Lovechild with a springboard rana.  He went for the cover.
    Three count!

Kodiak Marmoset pinned Lovechild after a springboard rana in 0:05:02.
Rating: ** 1/2
(Kodiak Marmoset retained the SMWA Television Title.)

    What is it with the sudden endings tonight?  Well, either way, Kodiak had picked up another win.  The Kodiak Express rolled right along.  It had left Lovechild laying.
    We might have to start asking ourselves the same question we asked ourselves when Kodiak was the Cruiserweight Champ.  Who can beat this guy?
    Well, Clone... if he doesn't wet his pants before the match.
    Speaking of which, we took a commercial break, at which point many folks probably went to the washroom and returned for a match where, really, they could have taken another piss break.

Mauling Bear vs Gunloc

    For the history buffs, these two used to be involved in quite the feud.... while Gunloc was a member of the Super Powers and Mauling Bear was a member of the War Party.  Since then, these two have gone in different directions.
    To say that Mauling Bear has looked less than impressive as of late would be an understatement.  He's looked very bad.
    Gunloc, on the other hand, has been on a pretty good run, recently defeating his former Tag Team partner Biff Slamkovich, who is on the shelf with several injuries. He's looked so good, in fact, that he has been rewarded with a World Title shot against Jack Slade on Monday Night Massacre.
    In other words, this winner of this match was almost guaranteed.  But we'd still have to wrestle it.

    Mauling Bear's size gave Gunloc a little bit of trouble early on, but not once Gunloc began to wear down the big man.  Bear would hit an occasional lariat or two, but Gunloc never lost control of the match.  He out sped Bear, out wrestled him, out brawled him... and he took a long time to do all of that.  In fact, it looked like Gunloc was toying with Bear for a while.  Like, the entire fourteen minutes that this match took.  He had the Bear where he wanted him and continued to beat him for one simple reason.  He wanted to send a message to Jack Slade for Monday.
    Finally, the Gut Crush did it.  Bye bye, Bear.

Gunloc pinned Mauling Bear with the Gut Crush in 0:14:04.
Rating: * 1/4

    Once Gunloc made it backstage, Nick Jones was there.

Jones:  Gunloc, that was nothing less than an absolute slaughter...

Gunloc:  You are exactly right, Jones.  And I care about this much.  (Gunloc spits on the ground).  Now, Jack Slade, I don't care what you're dealing with as far as Major Force goes, and I don't care about any history we once had.  I'm on my own, nothing holding me back, the true Super Power, and I'm ready to wear a little bit of Gold.  So bring your belt on Monday, Slade, and leave the baggage behind, because this Loose Cannon is going to go off and take your title away.  See ya, Jones.

    Forceful words from Gunloc.
    Have to wonder if that "nothing" holding him back includes Chad Hillsman, who is gone for thirty days and forever censored.
    We took a commercial and returned for a little bit of War!

SMWA War Titles Match
Simply the Best (C) w/ Monica
vs
West Bronco and the Air Raiders

    Well, StB had defeated a collection of former Raiders at New Year's Smash to take the War Titles.  Now they'd have to defend them against another triumvirate from that old group.  Bronco and the Air Raiders are a different sort of team than Steelworks and Titan Tim, but they are at least as deadly.  That could spell trouble for StB.
    Clark, Kent, Cody and Monica came to the ring first.  Cody took the mic and started it up.

Cody:  I'm here to buy the Edmonton Oilers.  I've got about sixty bucks in my wallet in the dressing room.  Sixty AMERICAN dollars.  That's, what, twenty four million in Canadian dollars?  Hm...  Nah, I don't want to be one of those guys who blows twenty four million on the weekend.  Hey, you guys don't like it, I don't care, because I'm Simply the Best, I'm an asshole and darn proud of it.

Clark:  Oh, Canada...  Yes, it's Simply the Best here, ready to provide you with another great night of action.  I know that there are a lot of fans of ol' Bravestar and the Mariachi Maniacs, but we're going to have to beat them tonight.  We're in Edmonton, having fun being number one.  And if you still don't know what I'm talking about, I've got three little letters that will make it all that much clearer.  S!  t!  B!  Eh!

Kent:  I hope you take good notes, Bronco, because tonight is going to be only a small sampling of what you get at Secrets.  And there's no Jumbo to save you tonight.  You may be part of one hell of a team, but there is one thing that you're not, and that is Simply the Best.  So from The StreetFighting Stud, Tricky Rick and the woman who took the Duh out of dumb blonde and kept it for herself, this is Jerry Kent saying goodnight, God bless and let the ass kicking commence!

    Another day, another rant.  Still, StB comes up with some good stuff.  Their reaction with the crowd, however, is still quite mixed.  They've got their crazy fans and the people who just don't like them at all.  If it weren't for the Major Force deal, they'd be tops in popularity.  Being allied with Masters and company has cost StB some fans.
    Bronco and the Air Raiders came out to a pretty decent pop.  Stingray and Spider are loved because of their exciting, high-risk attack.  Bronco's a proven winner and has shown some good mic skills as of late.  This should be good.
    Spider stood across the ring from Cody.  The bell rang...

    It was Cody's fast fists against the speed of the Spider, and Spider took the edge with a few lightning fast takedowns.  Spider kept moving and Cody couldn't get a hold of him.  So, he just nailed him with a left to the jaw.  Spider went down.  Cody kept brawling with Spider, stinging him fast and hard, not letting up.  Spider was having trouble taking the punches and had no other choice but to tag out.
    In came West Bronco.
    Bronco and Cody, no strangers to one another, immediately proceeded to beat the heck out of each other.  Cody, somewhat overmatched, tagged out to Jerry Kent.
    Kent and Bronco started across the ring from one another.  Both men then charged towards each other and Bronco levelled Kent with a lariat.  Kent got up and was hit with a second one.  Bronco made a third attempt, but Kent ducked and Bronco went near the StB corner.  A shot by Clark staggered Bronco and Kent took him down with a back suplex.  Kent tagged back out to Cody, and the two hit Bronco with a beautiful back suplex followed by an elbowdrop.  Cody went for the cover and got a two count.
    Bronco fought his way back and made the tag to El Stingray who, with Spider, used some high flying double team moves on the Streetfighting Stud.  The Air Raiders hit their trademark synchronized Missile Dropkick/Jalapeno Comet and Cody was down.  Stingray made the cover and got a two count.  He tagged back out to Spider, who slingshotted himself over the ropes with a splash.
    Spider wasn't going to let Cody get an edge with fists again, so he did everything he could to make sure that Cody couldn't touch him.  Unfortunately, Kent saw what Spider was trying to do and stormed the ring, levelling Spider with a lariat.  Cody quickly tagged out to Clark before the entire ring filled up with wrestlers.
    Spider and Cody spilled outside as Stingray took it to Clark.  Bronco and Kent paired up and exchanged blows in the corner, eventually reaching the floor.  Spider took Cody to the railing and then went back into the ring to hit a tope con hilo.  Cody moved.
    In the meantime, Clark had driven Stingray from the ring with a series of dropkicks.  Cody rolled a shaky Spider into the ring.  Spider turned around and was nailed by a superkick.  Clark made the cover.
    1...
        2...
            3!!!

Simply the Best (Cody Simmons, Jerry Kent, and Rick Clark) defeated The Air Raiders (El Stingray and Ultimate Spider) and West Bronco
when Clark pinned Spider after a superkick in 0:07:33.
Rating: * 3/4
(Simply the Best retained the SMWA War Titles.)

    A good effort by The Raiders and Bronco, but no dice.
    Bronco and Kent didn't stop fighting after the bell.  These two were trying to tear a hole in one another.  It took StB and the Air Raiders to break these two up.  Once separated, both men were calmer.  They knew they'd have a chance to fight it out at Secrets.
    Nick Jones was backstage with one of the most hated men in the SMWA.

Jones:  Simply the Best gets another win here on Saturday Night Slam Masters.  One man who knows Simply the Best quite well is this man, Saul Masters, who is joining me with Skarzz.  Now, Saul, before I talk to you about tonight's main event, I'd like to ask you about this arrangement that you've made with Simply the Best.  We heard from StB on Monday, but I'd like to ask you what you're expecting from this deal.

Masters:  I think Simply the Best did a good job explaining it on Monday Night.  We stay out of their business, they stay out of ours, and they handle that annoying mess we call Terry Sky.

Jones:  About Terry Sky, Saul.  Did you take his money?

Masters:  Are you accusing me of theft, Jones?

Jones:  I'm not accusing you of anything, Saul.

Masters:  Good.  It's not my fault that Terry Sky can't hold on to his money.  That's all I have to say about him.  The rest is for Simply the Best to deal with.

Jones:  Well, then, I have another question for you.  Mike Haggar and Jack Slade.  You've been a thorn in their sides since before New Year's Smash, but now you're asking them to team against Skarzz and Grater?  Doesn't that seem like a dangerous proposition.

Masters:  There's no danger on my part, Jones.  Skarzz and Grater are the dangerous ones.  Yes, we could go after them separately, but I'd much rather be rid of both of them all at once.  The challenge is out there, as is my threat.  Until they team and until I destroy them, they will not hear the last of Major Force.

Jones:  Strong words.  Ok, Saul, let's move away from all of that and focus on tonight.  Your man Skarzz will be facing off against Hamish Mactavish, who has accused you of booking him in our Luck of the Draw Match, the match right before our main event.  He thinks you bought him a place in that match.  What's your response.

Masters:  I think Mr. Mactavish thinks I think more of him than I actually do.  You're not a threat, Mactavish.  I don't need to waste my time playing games with you.  Besides, for me to get you in that match, I'd probably have to go through our esteemed Commissioner.  I know that McCullough was a cop at one point, but I don't think he'd be that corrupt.  Do you, Mactavish?  I do know, however, who you will be facing in that Luck of the Draw Match and, believe me, you're in for a tough night.  Good evening, Jones.

Jones:  Wait.  Who's he going to face?

    Masters wasn't going to respond.  He and Skarzz were already walking away.  Jones took us to commercial and we returned for our Saturday Night Tradition.

SMWA Luck of the Draw Match

    Well, we know that Hamish Mactavish is a part of this.  Who would he face?

******** Cue Major Force's Music ********

    Well, last week's TV Title match.
    No fix, eh?
    Hamish would be facing none other than the Kodiak Express himself, our Television Champion, Kodiak Marmoset.
    If there isn't anything going on, this is one hell of a coincidence.
    Hamish saw Kodiak and didn't waste any time.  He jumped him in the aisle and we had our match.

    Hamish didn't waste any time in taking it to Kodiak, whipping him from rail to rail before taking him into the ring.  Once in, Hamish flattened Kodiak with a big powerslam and then perched him on the top ropes.  Looking to finish things early, Hamish picked Kodiak up in a piledriver and jumped.  Kodiak was rocked by a TOP ROPE PILEDRIVER!!!  Hamish went for the cover.
    1...
        2...
            NO!!!  Kickout!!! Amazing!  Kodiak had some fight in him.  Hamish was more than willing to give him some fight.
    Hamish kept up with the big moves and Kodiak was too stunned to counter.  Hamish went for another early kill with an attempted Scottish Slam, but Kodiak was ready for it.  He slugged Hamish in the head and then scooped his legs off of the ropes, effectively hitting him with a flying spinebuster!  Hamish hit hard and Kodiak locked on a Texas Clover Leaf.  He barely turned Hamish over and pulled back with all of his might.
    Hamish still had plenty left.  Once he got over the pain of the move, he fought back.  Using sheer power alone, Hamish managed to break the hold.  Kodiak tried to follow up with a senton, but Hamish moved and regained control.  Hamish nailed Kodiak with an inverted power bomb and then splashed him.  He went for the cover.  Two count.
    Hamish tossed the smaller Kodiak around like a lightweight... which Kodiak was, sort of, but anyway.  Hamish grabbed him and nailed a big belly to belly suplex.  Instead of going for a pin, Hamish placed Kodiak in the corner.  He backed up and charged in with an avalanche.  All the air left Kodiak's lungs as he crumbled to the mat.  Hamish went for the cover.
    1...
        2...
            ROPES!!! Kodiak's foot was on the ropes.  Barely.  Hamish picked up Kodiak and whipped him into the ropes.  Kodiak came off with a flying lariat that had Hamish wobbling.  Another one.  Hamish would not go down.  Kodiak backed up and went for a third one.  Hamish was ready.  He grabbed Kodiak and slammed him to the mat with a vicious powerslam.  Hamish went for the cover.
    1...
        2...
            NO!!! KICKOUT!!!  Kodiak's taken a huge beating so far, but he keeps getting up.  Hamish picked him up again and nearly snapped him in half with a double underhook backbreaker.  Hamish was looking to end it all.  He climbed up to the top rope, looked down at his prey and dove off with a flying headbutt.
    Kodiak moved!  Hamish hit hard and was almost out as a result of the impact.  Kodiak quickly climbed the ropes and dropped his weight on Hamish's back.  Hamish slowly got up and Kodiak was ready for him.  Once Hamish's head was within striking range, Kodiak snapped it back with his finisher... THE BIG V!  He went for the cover.
    1...
        2...
            3!!!

Luck of the Draw Match
Kodiak Marmoset pinned Hamish MacTavish after the Big V in 0:07:09.
Rating: *** 1/4

    As soon as Kodiak had won, Saul Masters tossed him a steel chair.  This wasn't over.
    Our camera showed us what was happening backstage.  Ghost and Alexander "The Grater" were assaulting The Flying Scotsman and Angus Wallace, making sure that the Highlanders were kept at bay.
    Kodiak took the chair and whacked Hamish in the face.  The Highland Giant fell still on the mat.

******** Cue Major Force's Music ********

    Here comes Skarzz!!!
    Kodiak grabbed the ref and told him to get ready.

Main Event
Falls Count Anywhere
Skarzz w/ Saul Masters
vs
"The Highland Giant" Hamish MacTavish

    Kodiak tossed Hamish outside, right where Skarzz was waiting.  Under the threat of violence, the ref rang the bell.  We had a match going on.
    Skarzz was swift in his punishment.  He floored Hamish with a big lariat.  Picking him up, Skarzz used a series of headbutts before knocking him silly with a faceslam.  Hamish was almost out, but Skarzz wasn't done yet.  He jumped on the prone Hamish with an elbowdrop before picking him up once more.  Hamish was grabbed by the throat and Skarzz finished him off with a chokeslam.
    That was domination.

Falls-Count-Anywhere Match:
Skarzz pinned Hamish MacTavish after a choke slam in 0:01:01.
Rating: * 3/4

    Skarzz wouldn't stop beating on Hamish, and he was joined by Kodiak Marmoset.  Backstage, Grater and Ghost were still going at it with the rest of Highland Hell.  We went off the air in the middle of this massive brawl.