But first, Rick Clark came down to the ring.  But he wasn't as flip or smug looking as usual.  In fact, he had his head slumped between his shoulders and was almost on the brink of tears.  He climbed into the ring and grabbed the mic.  Ignoring the boos of the crowd, Clark went on.

    "I don't know how obvious it's been.  I mean, we've tried to hide it from everybody, and I thought we were doing a good job.  But we can't do it anymore.  There have been some problems within Simply the Best."

    Problems with StB?  This could be good.

    "I guess, I don't know, I feel like I just can't accomplish anything without the words "Simply the Best" being attached to what I do.  And with that in mind, I'd like to bring out the other two members of StB.  Come on out, guys."

    Jerry Kent was first out.  He was wearing a pair of green pants with a single shoulder strap.  He had on a big, bushy fake mustache.  In other words, he was dressed up like Mike Haggar.

    Cody....well, Cody was wearing a red dress, a blond wig and pumps.  Cody in drag, dressed up as Jessica Haggar.  It quickly became obvious that there weren't any problems with StB, aside from some very bad costuming.  Clark took the mic again.

    "Jerry, I respect you so much.  But look at all you've accomplished!  I mean, sure, I'm a former World Champion, but you've had that belt so many more times.  And I'm just young and stupid and inexperience and...and I don't want to be stuck in the shadow of somebody so great!"

    Rick Clark as Jack Slade, ladies and gentlemen.

    "I hate to say this.  I really hate to say this.  No, I mean you just don't understand how much I hate to say this but...did I mention that I hate to say this?"

    Kent cut Clark off.  "Rick, I know what you're saying.  You want the keys to my car for Saturday so you can take Cody out on a date, right?  Look at my beautiful Cody.  Isn't he a peach!"

    Cody giggled like a schoolgirl.  Clark continued, sobbing hysterically.

    "Oh, Jerry!  You know that I love Cody.  I love Cody more than I've ever loved anybody else.  Even  when you took the bag off of your head, I still loved you.  That's what makes this so hard.  Because I love Cody.  You're the best thing in the world, Cody.  I love you!"

    Cody sheepishly sunk into the corner, looking like he too was going to cry.

    "So what are you saying, Rick?"

    "Hold on, Cody.  First I've got to talk to Jerry.  Jerry, I'm insecure.  I'll be great someday, but I'm too worried about how other people look at me.  I don't want people looking at me.  This is hard for me to say.  When we first fought, it was a great match.  And when we first teamed, it was even better.  But when I first entered this sport, I made myself a promise.  And that promise was to be Simply the Best.  But can I be Simply the Best in a group of three?  I don't know.  Maybe.  This is really hard for me to say."

    Cody chimed in.  "Just say it, Rick.  Say it right here in front of the world!"

    "Cody, can't we just do this backstage?"

    "No, Rick.  I know you're going to dump me, so I'd rather you do it in front of the whole world, because I REALLY like being humiliated and treated like garbage in public.  Say it right here, Rick!"

    Clark fell to his knees and started to cry.  Cody pulled a tissue out of his bra and handed it to Rick, who was helped up by Kent.  But Clark didn't want that.  He left the ring and came back with a chair.  He shoved Cody down and was about to hit him with the chair.
    This was getting WAY too personal.
    Clark dropped the chair and proceeded to cry again, this time blowing his nose in Cody's bra.  He then grabbed the mic.

    "No, here's what's going to happen.  I'm going to silently walk towards the dressing room and act really angry.  Then you can make a plea to me and I'll join you at your side.  But then we'll break up, but that probably won't last long, because I'm just so insecure and because this is so hard to do.  And Cody.  Well, just kiss me and smile for me.  Tell me that you'll wait for me.  Hold me like you'll never let me go.

    "Rick, are you leaving on a jet plane?"

    Slade had used a line from "Jet Plane" last week in his breakup speech.  This was getting far too personal.

    "Yes, and I don't know when I'll be back again.  Babe, I hate to go.  But I have to.  I'm going to walk back to the dressing room now.  I'll see you next week."

    Cody began sobbing hysterically, taking tissue out of his bra and hugging Jerry Kent as he wiped his eyes.  Clark left the ring, not looking back.

    We had just witnessed Simply the Best make a mockery of the whole Haggar/Slade situation.  And when Jack Slade showed up in the aisle as Rick Clark walked back to the dressing room, it was obvious that the skit had hit a nerve.

    Clark saw Slade and rushed back into the ring, hiding literally behind Cody's skirt.  Slade had a microphone and did not look like a happy man.

    "You three are the biggest assholes I've ever seen."

    The crowd exploded into cheers and the chant of "asshole" echoed through the building.  StB stood in the ring and looked at each other.  Kent took the mic.

    "Guys, I don't know if you can hear it, but we've got fifteen thousand people calling us assholes!"

    Clark was the first to pick up on the cue.  "Wow, that's pretty stone cold."

    Slade didn't see the humour in the comment.

    "You know what, you three are pathetic.  Cody, never could beat me, so what do you do?  You have to hook yourself up with these two because, by yourself, you're just not good enough.  Kent, you old bastard, you're so jealous that you're past what you called you prime that you have to hook up with two younger, dumber versions of yourself.  And Rick Clark.  Poor little Cyclops.  Rick, you got one lucky win and have managed to build your career off of that one little fluke."
    "Now, I'm done with Mike Haggar.  Me and Jessica are through.  I don't know what you're trying to do, but I want you the hell off of my back, and I get this feeling that you guys aren't going to get off of my back if I just ask nicely.  Me, I want this thing to end once and for all."
    "So tonight, I challenge Simply the Best to a match.  All of you.  Three on one.  Win or lose, you guys stay off of my back after tonight.  That's the deal."

    Slade against all THREE members of Simply the Best???  WOW!!!  Jack has no chance.  Simply the Best huddled in the ring and Clark gave the answer.

    "Hey, if you're willing to let the three of us beat you up, I don't think we can refuse you."

    "Then I'll see you assholes later tonight."

    And Jack Slade went into the back.

    Simply the Best vs Jack Slade.  Sure, maybe this will get StB off of Slade's back and finally let him get out on his own, but all three members at once??? Does Slade have a death wish?

    Teknos is one of the hottest wrestlers in the SMWA right now, having just recently deposed the seemingly invincible Cruiserweight Champion, Kodiak Maroset.  He took a beating after the match, but he was still here competing on Monday.  Enrico Ferdinand should not pose too much of a challenge for the luchador.  The former bullfighter is here on Monday only because of his win in a very bad Luck of the Draw match on Saturday.

    Perhaps realizing that this might be his only shot at the Cruiserweight title for a while, Ferdinand came out guns blazing with an unrelenting attack.  Basically, he threw any science out of the window and just mauled Teknos.  The advantage lasted until Enrico ran into a very stiff elbow.  Teknos then hit a dropkick right on the money and followed up with a lightning fast reverse flying elbowdrop for a near fall.  Teknos kept up his assault until Ferdinand managed to counter a Frankensteiner with a solid power bomb.
    The rest of the match was fairly even.  It ended when Enrico pressed his advantage and went for a flying sunset flip.  Teknos managed to block the move and lifted Enrico into a Nodowa choke slam.  Up top seconds later, Teknos hit the Teknospinner and took the win.

Teknos pinned Enrico Ferdinand with the Teknospinner in 0:08:54.
Rating: 3/4*
(Teknos retained the SMWA Cruiserweight Title.)

    Just as Teknos was raising his belt, he was once again attacked by Kodiak.  But this time, Teknos was ready.  He responded in kind and sent Kodiak over the top with a beautiful dropkick.  Kodiak was about to climb back into the ring when he was pulled down by Johnny Proton.  Proton tried to hold Kodiak back, but Kodiak turned and started shoving and yelling at Proton.  Johnny again just stood there and took it, letting Kodiak simmer.  The two made their way to the back, though Kodiak was fairly reluctant.
    Kodiak wants that title back, it seems.  That, or he just REALLY doesn't take losses well.

    For weeks, Teioh has been plagued by some mysterious "Light Man", a ghostly, luminous figure that has followed him from arena to arena, place to place.  Teioh's darkness appears to be threatened.  Not being totally sure what this light is, Teioh and Zists are looking for an answer.  And Lantern, a wrestler known for letting loose blinding flashes of light during matches, may just provide that.
    Ron Grayson gave Lantern a pep talk before the match began, nicely telling him "This match may just have serious ramifications upon your employment at Sky Entertainment, Ltd."  No pressure at all there.

    Lantern came into this match game, but it was fairly apparent he was overmatched early on.  Teioh peppered Lantern with chops, punches and kicks.  Lantern kept taking breaks on the outside, as well he should have been, as he was being systematically destroyed.   Apart from a very brief flurry in the middle of the match, Teioh had this match won.  He clocked Lantern in the back of the head with an enzuigiri and hit the Dark Moon for the win.

Teioh pinned Lantern with the Dark Moon in 0:07:54.
Rating: * 1/4

    Teioh stood over his fallen opponent as Ron Grayson left ringside in complete disgust.  The darkness filled the arena and for a moment, nothing could be seen.  But then that "Light Man" appeared once more.  But it wasn't Lantern.  The glowing figure appeared once more in the aisle, slowly walking towards the ring.
    Suddenly, another figure appeared near the light man.  It was Naga Yajito!  Naga punched and kicked at the light man, but nothing happened.  In fact, the punches and kicks of Naga went right THROUGH the figure.  Suddenly, there was another blinding flash and the arena went dark.
    The darkness lifted and Naga Yajito was standing beside Teioh in the ring.  He then turned and bowed to him.  Naga was in Teioh's thrawl.  Apparently in this battle between light and dark, Naga had chosen the dark side.
    This is too bizzare.  Who - or WHAT - is that light man???

    Two of the principle factions in the Raiders/Sky war.  It was only a few months ago that Highland Hell severely injured "Irish" Peter McKee, Rod Emerson's tag team partner in the Dream Team.  Since then, Emerson has found a new partner in Andrew Marshall and has made it his mission to ruin Highland Hell.  He's cost them matches, the Tag Title at Back Street Brawl and has been a thorn in the side of the Highlanders.  Andrew Marshall, a good friend of Emerson's, has willingly come along.
    This was going to be a brawl.

    Fairly even throughout.  Steelworks had the advantage early on, nearly popping Hamish's skull off with a double lariat, but Hamish came back and hit a massive Diamond Cutter on Marshall, nearly putting him down.  Angus and Hamish kept up the assault, overpowering Marshall at every turn.  Finally, Angus miscued on a splash and Marshall was able to make a tag.
    Emerson entered the ring with purpose.  He took on both of the Highlanders, pitching Angus outside and hitting him in the head with a television monitor from the broadcast table.  Marshall had Hamish wrapped up, flooring him with a massive DDT.  The action went back inside where the ref tried to usher Marshall from the ring.  Emerson was suddenly hit by Hamish, who delivered a vicious low blow with the Scottish flag.  Emerson was then pitched up top and was a victim of the Scottish Slam.  That was all she wrote.

Highland Hell defeated Steelworks when Hamish pinned Emerson with the Scottish Slam in 0:07:30.
Rating: * 3/4

    Marshall cleared the Highlanders from the ring, but the damage had been done.  Steelworks had lost to Highland Hell, giving Sky Entertainment some momentum in the feud.

RASTA: All ya ta no is dis.  Zangeef, ya wen' an got lucky last week, Mon.  Ya wen and took ma TV title.  Well, now we got da guys dat did da job on us last week in dis match.  You tink you can beat Rasta two time, mon?  You go one nudda ting comin!!!

    This could be a very good match.  Two former tag team specialists who have gone solo and are currently feuding with ex-partners.  However would The All-Americans, Sky Entertainment and the Raiders be able to avoid this match, or would we see a premature ending?  Let's get to it.

    Before this match started, a couple of matches were announced for Thanksgiving Thunder.  Biff and Zangief, the self-titled Eastern Powers, would face off in tag team action against the All-Americans, while Sky Entertainment Ltd. would take on the Raiders in a Rolling Thunder Match - a falls-count-anywhere elimination match.  Two big matches for Thunder.

    Sky took the offensive early on in this match with some solid mat wrestling, a few kicks and chops and a small advantage in speed.  Using legsweeps and dropkicks to keep Biff off balance, Sky would then lock in a hold on the mat, systematically wearing his larger foe down.  This didn't last too long.
    Biff started brawling back against Sky and then relied on his own arsenal of moves.  A few beautiful European uppercuts took Sky off of his feet, as did a great powerslam and a text book power bomb.  And just when it looked like Biff was going to try and overpower Sky for the whole match, he took him down with a beautiful Frankensteiner for a near fall.
    Biff kept up the offense, mixing power and speed to keep Sky off balance.  But Biff dropped his head too early on a backdrop and Sky made him pay with an awesome jumping DDT.  Sky continued to wear Biff down with holds, occasionally hitting high risk moves.  Two springboard dropkicks nearly took Biff down for the three.
    Sky whipped Biff into the corner and tried to hit him with a Superkick as he bounced out.  Biff ducked and started pummeling Sky with his trademark Sonic Fists, finishing him off with a deadly uppercut.  Biff then poured it on.  Soviet Suplex - two count.  Backdrop driver - two count.  Biff went up top for the Hammer Splash, but Sky got his knees up.  He went for a piledriver, but as he lifted Biff up, Biff wrapped his legs around Sky's head and hit a beautiful Frankensteiner.  That was it.

Biff Slamkovich pinned Terry Sky after a Frankensteiner in 0:10:38.
Rating: ***

    An impressive win for Biff Slamkovich.  Terry was very unimpressed with himself.  Even though he still is the CEO of Sky Entertainment, he knew he'd have to explain something to the Personnel Director, one way or the other.
    Of course, Sky could just pull rank

    Zangief could have a very short title reign.  In fact, it would be tied with the TV Title reign of Gunloc, who held the title for one week back in September of '97.  Rasta was shaping up to be the most dominant TV Champion ever, while Grant Redstone has never won a title in the SMWA.  But make no mistake - he could win this whole thing, too.
    Adding to the tension in this match is the fact that Gunloc and Redstone were both heavily involved in last week's TV Title change until referee "Jumbo" Jack Flap sent them away.  Jumbo wasn't the referee this week, but this would be a chance to see if Gunloc and Redstone could do it in the ring as well, or if they're only effective on the outside.
    Maybe that was never an issue, but you never know.

    King Rasta and Gunloc started the match with a little bit of brawling.  Rasta nearly stole the first fall in this elimination match, hitting Gunloc with a vicious German suplex VERY early on.  But just as Rasta was gaining an edge on Gunloc, he tagged.
    To Grant Redstone!!!  Rasta had tagged to the man who was attacking him at every turn.  That was a sight to see.
    But the best was yet to come.  After being suplexed around like a five year old, Gunloc tagged out to Rasta, giving us our first look at Rasta vs Redstone.
    Surprisingly, these two didn't stay in the ring long.  There was a brawl and Rasta took a definite edge with a Samoan drop followed by a flying kneedrop, but then he tagged to Zangief!!!
    Rasta was in no rush to destroy Redstone.
    Zangief hit Redstone with a few more power moves including a vicious spinning piledriver (Zangief has taken a liking to the move) before he continued the trend of quick tagging.  But he tagged to GUNLOC!!!
    The tags in this match were making fans' heads hurt.
    Redstone became the focal point of the match, as Rasta, Zangief and Gunloc all took turns hitting him with their best stuff.  Redstone was finally able to get the edge on Gunloc when he missed a plancha to the outside.  Redstone hit Gunloc with a chair and then moved him into the ring.
    As Redstone assaulted Gunloc, Shadow Maxx came to ringside through the crowd.  Rasta noticed him, as did a suddenly terrified Bobby, but the match continued.
    Gunloc and Redstone hit each other with a double clothesline and each man made the tag.  Zangief and Rasta came into the ring and started brawling.  Redstone noticed Shadow Maxx at ringside and stepped off the apron to confront him.  The ref tried to get Redstone back into the match as Zangief and Rasta slugged it out.  Rasta hit Zangief with a low blow and Bobby threw him the Golden Banana.  Rasta hit Zangief in the head with the object and went for the pin.  The ref was summoned by Rasta banging on the mat.
    1...
        2...
            NO!!! Kickout!!! Zangief somehow kicked out.  Rasta tried to hit an elbowdrop but he missed.  Zangief made the tag to Redstone.  Redstone charged Rasta but was almost the victim of a Lou Thez Head Chomp.  But Redstone instead pitched Rasta over the top ropes.
    Shadow Maxx walked over to Rasta.  He started to HELP HIM UP!!!  Rasta wasn't happy with that.  He shoved and slapped the man that had tortured Bobby the Monkey for so many months. Rasta got into the ring himself and made a tag to Gunloc, and then he started jawing at Maxx.
    Redstone and Gunloc tore into each other.  Gunloc whipped Redstone to the ropes and Maxx tripped him.  Redstone turned and gave Maxx a warning.  Upon turning around again, he was met with an elbow and the Gut Crush.  Maxx disappeared through the crowd.
    1...
        2....
            3!!!

    x Gunloc beat Redstone via the Gut Crush in 0:23:50

    And then there were three.
    Zangief stormed the ring but Gunloc met him with a flurry of Sonic Fists.  These two brawled and brawled, seemingly forgetting that King Rasta was on the outside.  Down to ringside came Biff Slamkovich who, as Zangief's partner and Gunloc's foe, had a stake in this match.  Gunloc took the advantage when he hit Zangief with a savate kick going into the corner.
    Chad Hillsman then stormed to ringside to protest Biff's involvement at ringside.  But as the ref was distracted, Biff knocked Gunloc off of the top ropes.  Zangief picked Gunloc up and hit the Siberian Bear Crusher.

  x Zangief beat Gunloc via the Siberian Bear Crusher in 0:29:10

    Hillsman ran to the other side of the ring and assaulted Biff.  It was now Zangief and Rasta.  But not for long.
    Gunloc, having just been eliminated, jumped over the ropes and began brawling with Biff.  The ref tried to get Gunloc back to the dressing room, but the distraction gave Hillsman HIS opening.  He grabbed a chair and whalloped Zangief in the head as he set Rasta up for the Bear Crusher.  Rasta, not one to question a gift chair shot, climbed up the ropes and hit the Dread Lock Drop.  And like clockwork, Gunloc retreated, allowing the referee to see the pin attempt.
    1...
        2...
            3!!!

     x Rasta beat Zangief via the Dread Lock Drop in 0:30:24

    Rasta was the King of TV once more.  It was a dirty win, but it was a win.

Four Corners Match:
King Rasta defeated Grant Redstone, Gunloc and Zangief:
Rating: **** 1/2
(King Rasta won the SMWA Television Title.)

    What a great match.  Lots of interference, but an excellent show by all.

    Normally, we'd have ring introductions, but as the ring announcer was starting in on StB's intro, Jack Slade jumped all three from behind.  He wasn't going to waste any time.
    The men moved to the ring and it was Clark vs Slade to start things off.  Jack hit Clark with a power bomb and tried to lock on the Cruncher Crab early in the match.  Clark was too close to the ropes, but Slade kept it up, almost beating the threesome within two minutes with a great German suplex.
    Slade tried to hit Clark with every high impact move he could early on, realizing he couldn't afford to systematically wear three men down at once.  He wanted this encounter to be over.
    Clark eventually made the tag to Kent and the two hit a beautiful double flying forearm.  But even that didn't keep the brawling dynamo that is Jack Slade from pressing on.  He tossed Kent outside and clobbered him with a baseball slide.
    Back in the ring, Slade continued to dominate Kent until Cody Simmons, no longer wearing women's clothing, came into the ring and hit Slade with a vicious low blow.  The ref ushered Cody back to the corner, but he kept the match going.
    Simply the Best then took major control.  They took turns double teaming Slade, wearing him down with precision double team moves.  Slade kept fighting back, but it was pretty obvious that he was overmatched.
    Cody tagged back in and went for a clothesline.  Slade ducked and came VERY close to ending the match with the Spiked DDT but Cody was saved by Kent.  Clark and Kent then entered the ring and beat Slade down.  They then held him up and Cody went to work.  He punched and kicked and punched and kicked and hit a beautiful combo of punches and elbows that he calls the Dead End.  As he went for the pin, we wondered if it was.

    1...
        2....
            3!!!

Handicap-Match:
Simply the Best (Cody Simmons, Jerry Kent, and Rick Clark) defeated Jack Slade when Simmons pinned Slade with the Dead End in 0:08:49.
Rating: *** 1/4

Cody was estatic!!! He had pinned Jack Slade.  He ran over to Clark and Kent and the three left the ring, arms up high.  They were done with Slade. Jack got up and looked somewhat disappointed.  But then he said something that was picked up by the cameraman.
"Well, I guess I made those three happy."
What?!