Monday Night Massacre 08/31/98

Tonight
Crunch Time for Cody
Sky Entertainment in a Titanic takeover
Cruiserweight contenders and champions
Ghost welcomes the Armageddon
Biff Slamkovich to let his Red Rockets Glare
The NEW TV champion Nord Fullstrom (?)
AND
Two men...Simply the Best???
Outslugging Mark McGuire for most homeruns in a season....drug free!!!

"Tricky" Rick Clark was the first man out when our program started tonight. He looked VERY pissed off and, once he got to the ring, he pointed to the back and ordered somebody else out.

From the back came Jerry Kent, holding a chair, also looking pissed off. He climbed into the ring and he and Clark engaged in a staredown....and then shook hands and HUGGED!!!

Just as we had all suspected on Saturday, Clark and Kent are in cahoots. Clark was the first to grab the microphone.

"Well, folks, it may have been obvious on Saturday...to everybody but the announcer, though. What's with you guys? Anyway, as you can see, "The Rebel" and "Tricky" now stand side by side...and we got something to say...that's your cue, Jerry."

"Well, Rick, these folks are probably wondering why we're together after feuding as little as two weeks ago. It's simple. Respect. This kid gave me the toughest match of my career, and THAT'S saying something. And he knows that he has not had it harder than when I scrapped him, too. But why should two talents like us be fighting each other."

"That's right, Jerry, why should we? So overrated muscleheads like Mr. Uncivil Servant Mike Haggar and the Siberian Bear Hugger can get all the spotlight. We put on the greatest match of the year, and what do we get? Nothing. So what do we do? We go out and we TAKE what we deserve! I pinned your big shoulders to the mat, Mike, and Jerry did you in, Zangief...TWICE!!! Those are your heroes, your champion and contender??? Don't make me laugh."

"You know, Rick, it seems to me that these two, having just lost to us, really don't deserve to be in that main event at Back Street Brawl."

"You're right, Jerry. But you know what...we can't do anything about it, cause the championship committee and Forrest McCullough, our esteemed commissioner, is too worried about us melting his big Back Street box of chocolates. But if we can't get in the main event, we can sure cheapen it. Hell, we already have. We've beaten the two main eventers already...but maybe if we beat them again."

"So, what are you saying, Rick? Should we challenge Hizzoner and Big Red to a tag team match next week?"

"Well, yeah, Jerry. And Haggar, Zangief, if you have any guts what-so-ever, or if you care at all about how good people think you are, you'll accept, or be shown as the overrated cowards we all know you are. You can bank on it. Jerry?"

"Absolutely. Rick, these two clowns better get ready for one hell of a thrashing, because if they accept, they're going to go down hard against a team that is...SIMPLY...THE...BEST!!!

And with that, Simply the Best left the ring amidst the calls of the fans.

Will Haggar and Zangief accept? Neither one was in the building tonight, but they both had telephones...would we get the call saying "yes?" Let's hold on to that one.

Ghost pinned Quasar with the Final Breath in 0:03:00.
Rating: * 1/4

Quasar started quick, but ended quicker. A missed springboard was turned into a powerslam and Ghost took control. A few big moves and a Final Breath later, and Ghost remained undefeated. He then grabbed the mic.

"Doomsday, if you can hear me...I'm ready for your 'Armageddon' any time."

After weeks of confrontations and posturing, we finally had an official challenge between these two men. Expect Doomsday to respond with a yes.

A phone call from Mike Haggar then came in to the studios. He said that if Zangief was willing to go, he'd "show Clark and Kent just how well deserved our reputaion is." That's one down.

Before the next match came final confirmation on what many had speculated on last week...Peter McKee is injured, so badly in fact that his career in the SMWA just might be over. The vicious attack by Highland Hell, The Flying Scotsman and the rest of Sky Entertainment Ltd. left McKee with some minor internal bleeding, a few cracked ribs and three slipped discs in his lower back. Tonight was a shot for his partner to get a measure of revenge.

Kodiak Marmoset pinned El Stingray with the Finisher in 0:11:01.
Rating: **** 1/4
(Kodiak Marmoset retained the SMWA Cruiserweight Title.)

Sky Entertainment Ltd. (Terry Sky and The Flying Scotsman) defeated Titan Tim Redbury and Rod Emerson when Sky pinned Redbury after a reverse cradle in 0:12:28.
Rating: *

Rod Emerson teamed tonight with the North American Champion, Titan Tim Redbury to face off against Terry Sky and The Flying Scotsman. The match started with Scotsman and Emerson, and Scotsman probably wishes it hadn't. Eventually, Titan got into the ring while Terry Sky was trying to pull some funny business, and Titan leveled Sky with one big boot. Sky was hesitant to enter the match after that kick. The rest of the match was Scotsman doing most of the work, Sky going after Emerson and avoiding Titan. However, Titan did eventually get Sky into the ring...and down came Sky Entertainment Ltd. Using their mass mob confussion technique, they distracted the ref on one side and attacked Titan on the other.

Titan had Sky in position for the Claw Slam when Hamish Mactavish entered the ring and clocked Titan with a chair to the head. Sky rolled Titan up and got the three count.

Terry Sky, as underhanded as it was, had just gotten the duke over the North American Champion...don't think he'll let us forget that.

After the bout, Sky Entertainment pounded on Titan and Emerson. To their aid came Andrew Marshall and El Stingray, but the odds were still 2 on 1 for everybody. Marshall and Stingray were beaten down too. Terry Sky left the ring and in to the camera shouted "Now THAT'S entertainment!"


Nord Fullstrom defeated Ron Grayson by countout in 0:09:25.
Rating: * 1/4
(Nord Fullstrom retained the SMWA Television Title.)

Nord Fullstrom and Ron Grayson went to a double count-out last week -- this week's match had just as much outside interference, but ended with a win for the new TV champ. Kenji Hashimuto and West Bronco again interfered in the match, and that's what led to Grayson's downfall. After being dominated early, Grayson hit three swinging neckbreakers and then hit Nord with the Shooting Star legdrop...but Kenji Hashimuto had the ref occupied. Bronco entered the ring, smacked Ron with a chair, which brought him to his feet and allowed Nord to hit the Battle-Axe kick for the win.

Hour two. Two words. BIFF SLAMKOVICH!!!

Biff started off our second hour by coming to the ring alone and offering a challenge to the All-Americans, who have yet to be heard from since Hillsman dropped the flag at Code Red.

"Gunloc, you BASTARD!!! All ze years, all the times and titles and secrets...you just went and threw it all away. This makes me sick to my stomach. And that you would then go and join a man as wretched as Chad Hillsman...I'm at a loss."

Biff was still keeping his usual cool composure, but you could tell he was seething inside.

"I trusted you. We were friends, Gunloc. I guess I should never have joined with you in the first place. But I'm not going to sit here and wonder about what ifs and maybes...I'm taking action. Gunloc, Hillsman...you are not anywhere near ALL-American. You represent the worst part of America -- the excess, the racism, the hatred. ALL-American...I hope not."

"Now, I didn't come out here to talk. I'm issuing a challenge to you two...The All-Americans at Back Street Brawl versus me. Now usually, I'd have Zangief at my side for this match, but I wouldn't ask him to do that with his World Title match and if he offered, I'd refuse. But I don't think it will be hard to find a wrestler that hates you two. If you have any guts at all, you'll accept."

With that, the icey Ukrainian rocker left the ring.

The Actor pinned Ultimate Spider with the Take-Four in 0:11:16.
Rating: *** 1/2

The Actor lucked his way through this match. He was being dominated during the match by the speedier spider. But when Spider locked on the Spider's Web, he didn't notice the ref counting his OWN shoulders to the mat. End match. The Actor is now 2-0.

An e-mail was recieved in studio from Zangief, who was listening to the show via the netbroadcast. It read simply. "If Haggar's there, then so am I!"

So, next week, Haggar and Zangief grudgingly team again against a common enemy in Simply the Best.

Los Dragones defeated Los Viajeros Dos Mil when Fire Dragon pinned IS-2000 with the Dragon Fire in 0:09:57.
Rating: ****

LOS DRAGONES WIN!!! The Dragones showed a ferocity we haven't seen in weeks and were able to almost blitz through their longtime rivals in a great match! Nice job. Los Dragones may be back on the trail to championship gold.

Main Event Time.

This Saturday, Cody Simmons cost Jack Slade his TV Title. The Monday before, a challenge had been made for today. Slade had accepted that challenge late Saturday night, and the two men would fight in today's main event.

It was a brawl, plain and simple. No finese, little wrestling...just kicks and punches, foreign objects, people being thrown into walls and ringposts, blood and guts violence. Slade and Cody were too obsessed with destroying each other to notice that the ref was slowly counting to 10, counting both men out.

Jack Slade and Cody Simmons battled to a double countout in 0:12:35.
Rating: ** 1/2

But the brawl didn't end there. It spilled backstage into the dressing room, where all of the other wrestlers kept their distance, knowing that these two had to settle the score. Cody got his head slammed in a locker, while Slade was put on his back in the showers with a shoulder toss. It spilled back into the concessions area, where Slade tried to choke Cody down with a T-Shirt. It went to the street, where everything was fair game and traffic slowed down to a standstill It went into the night and eventually had to be broken up by police...not security, but police.

Cody and Slade were hauled off to jail for the night for brawling in public. But you can bet the night in the clinc isn't going to dull their hatred for each other. Slade has lost his title and had his manhood threatened. Cody wants to get Jack out of the picture.

This aint over.